Have you ever had everything in place but your chest still runs cold? Like a fish out of water that cant breath or a tangled bird that only wants to fly? Why do you clean your house so much? Why do you feel sick to be around your friends? Another night alone in the four walls you call home because there was no other option. Am I going to faint? I need to leave early today.
Have you ever watched TV but been on a different channel to everyone else? Why can I see myself without a mirror? My mind is uncomfortable and somewhere else. I can hear you but I cant see you. You look different today. There were rats under my feet, what an unreal experience. My reality says he's there, but you wont stop calling my name.
I exist between the lines of a wrist and razor. You have a very big mouth, the past is etched on my skin and I refuse to hide it. Yes I am happy... now. The calming smell or iron stains my floor. I need to make an appointment, the urge for more scars just like a drug. I have made a very big mess, why is the colour red so beautiful?
Have you ever smiled at strangers because of your ecstasy. I'm more than happy I'm on top of the world. Take me to a party I Need to go. Excitement is an understatement. The meds aren't working, why does nobody care about me? I've never felt so alone tonight. Is this how it ends? Alcohol for both ends of the trip, what happened to normal?
Who do you see when you close your eyes? Why are they always there when your alone? Dreams transport through time to a place I don't want to be again. Why did this happen to me? They wont listen, no one will listen. Showers cant remove the dirt. And behind the strength I suffer. I must be strong but I'm only human.
Can you relate?
If you do relate to these then I am sorry but you know your not alone and know what I'm talking about. Treat yourself right, you are strong. Love you SG xo
