Someone once said, "Life is what happens when you are making other plans." Sometimes I get the feeling that life has a mind of it's own. In our personal efforts to "find our way," life hovers behind overshadowing, limiting our visibility. There seems to be just enough light to take the steps immediately in front of us creating a series of initiation experiences. Once you find your footing and become assured of the path ahead, the dead end shows up. The search to "know thyself" is a bitch. In some ways I feel as though I'm in a perpetual rite of passage. As if I slipped into a black hole in the middle of my coming of age story. You ever feel like you are living for everyone else but you? Only, the "you" everyone knows feels like a projection. I've been in a career for the last seven years and have stumbled into a hurricane force wind of self-realization. I have been aspiring to pursue a life that is not my own but a fantasy of my own design. The bravest thing we might ever do is to be honest with ourselves and with the world around us. Here's to pushing through the briars and thorns of delusional expectations and forging ahead honestly and realistically.
"In this home...sweet home
I sleep with one eye open and hide from the day
Inspected...dissected
Laid open for the triggermen to fire away
At my failures
Something's dying
Down inside of me
Is this feeling
Is this real
Well, it must be something..."
