I am getting stronger, more whole inside, instead of a hole inside.
**************************************************
I've heard the voice of nearing death
Calling me to this end
Water rushes to steal my breath
I've nothing left to defend
This life fades fast in the flow
Pain washes over many years
Each spent fighting undertow
Icy water mingles with my tears
But strangly poised, I embrace this chill...
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**************************************************
I've heard the voice of nearing death
Calling me to this end
Water rushes to steal my breath
I've nothing left to defend
This life fades fast in the flow
Pain washes over many years
Each spent fighting undertow
Icy water mingles with my tears
But strangly poised, I embrace this chill...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
shimmer:
hey long time no talk...i miss ya! hope we can get together sometime soon. what you up to next weekend? 9th or something like that? we need to get together! email me!
rephrased:
i am disappearing i cancelled my membershp january i think call/email if you want to hang out or if you want to know about what happened when i ran into that bitch rachel tonight and completely fell for her all over again
I saw him Thanksgiving night. I had to. It was a gamble. I didn't want to regret my inaction. He had to know what was going through my mind and how I felt. It cleared a lot of things up for me. I had to know what was going through his mind. I had to find out. The not knowing was killing me and eating...
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clarkekid:
Wow... it must be hard going through that on the holiday. 
But I guess if it gives you some closure and helps you move on, you have to do what you have to do.
It's good to see you are keeping a positive outlook on life though.
But I guess if it gives you some closure and helps you move on, you have to do what you have to do.
It's good to see you are keeping a positive outlook on life though.
rephrased:
Actually, it's an emu. Not sure what highway that is...
Thankful
1) I am thankful for friends. I may not have alot of them, but the ones I have are definitely keepers!
I spoke with my friend Shane today for nearly an hour. He is a writer and a poet. He is an observer by nature and has alot of "people insight". In a way we are similar creatures. We both are the type that...
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1) I am thankful for friends. I may not have alot of them, but the ones I have are definitely keepers!
I spoke with my friend Shane today for nearly an hour. He is a writer and a poet. He is an observer by nature and has alot of "people insight". In a way we are similar creatures. We both are the type that...
Read More
baysponge:
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving ... and tthanks for sharing in your journal today - is has giving me one more thing to be thankful for ...
later on today, I am off to invade my sister-in-law's place ... are you invading somewhere or are you being invaded?
so what are you doing on this snowy (by PA standards) Turkey day ?...
have a good one m'lady
hugs
later on today, I am off to invade my sister-in-law's place ... are you invading somewhere or are you being invaded?
so what are you doing on this snowy (by PA standards) Turkey day ?...
have a good one m'lady
hugs
nish1:
Did you enjoy your tea
Good friends
Great Kids
Caring family
3 wonderful things to have
Good friends
Great Kids
Caring family
3 wonderful things to have
The TRUTH according to Graycen:
sings: *Rain, Rain! Come and stay! At least for another day...*
When I left work this morning I couldn't help but stop and tip my face up to meet the onslaught of raindrops. I let myself get pretty wet before I popped into my car. Nothin' like a good rain for the cleansing of the soul.
During the night I...
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sings: *Rain, Rain! Come and stay! At least for another day...*
When I left work this morning I couldn't help but stop and tip my face up to meet the onslaught of raindrops. I let myself get pretty wet before I popped into my car. Nothin' like a good rain for the cleansing of the soul.
During the night I...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
clarkekid:
Hey... what ever it takes, right?
Just push through all this and make sure you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Just push through all this and make sure you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
baysponge:
Greetings m'love ...
... and TAG YOUR IT ... (I warned you)
I am trying to start a new game here where people post a list of things they are thankful for this year - mine are in my latest journal entry ...
I hope yo enjoy readying mine - that you will share your list w/ all of here - and that you will then tag a few of your friends ... I wonder how far this will go?
anyway, have a great Thanksgiving - don't eat too much - don't shop too much on Friday
hugs
... and TAG YOUR IT ... (I warned you)
I am trying to start a new game here where people post a list of things they are thankful for this year - mine are in my latest journal entry ...
I hope yo enjoy readying mine - that you will share your list w/ all of here - and that you will then tag a few of your friends ... I wonder how far this will go?
anyway, have a great Thanksgiving - don't eat too much - don't shop too much on Friday
hugs
Never underestimate the power of a can of tomato soup!
Today is an entirely different day then yesterday. *Duh* Well THAT was a stupid thing to say. Of COURSE it is! What I guess I mean is that I'm not feeling all strong and wise like I did yesterday.
My day started off odd. The pants I threw on this morning had a pouch of...
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Today is an entirely different day then yesterday. *Duh* Well THAT was a stupid thing to say. Of COURSE it is! What I guess I mean is that I'm not feeling all strong and wise like I did yesterday.
My day started off odd. The pants I threw on this morning had a pouch of...
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baysponge:
I just stopped by to check what may have happened on-line before I head for the train - this is important since there is a news report that all of the trains are running late ...
I think that I may have been drawn here by the sense of your continuing pain that is so present in your multiple journal entries over the past couple of days ...
I don't know if tomorrow will be better worse or about as crappy as today ... I know that tomorrow will be here ... and I hope that will be a good thing or me ...
I will offer you my end of the work day HUG in the hopes it makes you smile and laugh for at least an instant - I mean what else can a lame computer-geek turned the lowest form of life on the planet offer you via this website ???
I do know that when tomorrow comes, I will be back here, God willing, and a Tuesday HUG will be awaiting you as well m'lady
I hope you look forward to coming here to receive it ...
I think that I may have been drawn here by the sense of your continuing pain that is so present in your multiple journal entries over the past couple of days ...
I don't know if tomorrow will be better worse or about as crappy as today ... I know that tomorrow will be here ... and I hope that will be a good thing or me ...
I will offer you my end of the work day HUG in the hopes it makes you smile and laugh for at least an instant - I mean what else can a lame computer-geek turned the lowest form of life on the planet offer you via this website ???
I do know that when tomorrow comes, I will be back here, God willing, and a Tuesday HUG will be awaiting you as well m'lady
I hope you look forward to coming here to receive it ...
baysponge:
here is today's ...
HH HH UU UU GGGGG
HH HH UU UU G
HHHHH UU UU G
HH HH UU UU G GG
HH HH UU UU G G
HH HH UUUUU GGGGG
ok, so I am lame ...
Hugs to m'lady
HH HH UU UU GGGGG
HH HH UU UU G
HHHHH UU UU G
HH HH UU UU G GG
HH HH UU UU G G
HH HH UUUUU GGGGG
ok, so I am lame ...
Hugs to m'lady
Life lessons
The fat lady sings.
i have a hippopotamus bracelet around my wrist that says "Wisdom"
Calmness still prevails.
instead of crawling into the cave to lick my wounds, i choose to be strong and continue on as usual
i learned alot this weekend about character and what it means to have it ( and all about those who don't). I also learned that...
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The fat lady sings.
i have a hippopotamus bracelet around my wrist that says "Wisdom"
Calmness still prevails.
instead of crawling into the cave to lick my wounds, i choose to be strong and continue on as usual
i learned alot this weekend about character and what it means to have it ( and all about those who don't). I also learned that...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
baysponge:
Well m'love
I sit here this morning after readyin your last two entries feeling both your pain from a loss and surprisingly strong hope - I am so glad that you survived this weekend with all that transpired and that by the end of it. you are looking forward ...
I hope that your dreams did come last night and that you saw that a knights still exist somewhere that you can find as I do believe thathonor and comittment are present in the hearts and lives of many of us.
Smile for me to today - and please know that youor friends do care for you greatly
hugs on a Monday morning
I sit here this morning after readyin your last two entries feeling both your pain from a loss and surprisingly strong hope - I am so glad that you survived this weekend with all that transpired and that by the end of it. you are looking forward ...
I hope that your dreams did come last night and that you saw that a knights still exist somewhere that you can find as I do believe thathonor and comittment are present in the hearts and lives of many of us.
Smile for me to today - and please know that youor friends do care for you greatly
hugs on a Monday morning
gone72:
Glad you held on. It makes me feel better when things work out for others, means there might be a chance for a sap like me.
What a difference a day makes....
I don't know what to say here.
....stares at *blink* blink* blink* of the cursor for nearly an hour.... ( which isn't too difficult to do. Did you know that women who are on the pill blink faster then women who aren't? It's true. Ask Men's Health Magazine.)
*deep breath*
So....
I spent the better half of my day...
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I don't know what to say here.
....stares at *blink* blink* blink* of the cursor for nearly an hour.... ( which isn't too difficult to do. Did you know that women who are on the pill blink faster then women who aren't? It's true. Ask Men's Health Magazine.)
*deep breath*
So....
I spent the better half of my day...
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gone72:
Good for you. Hang on to it, because if you lose it you end up like me, who is floating through life in a numbness that isn't drug induced.
Yes. I am bi-polar and have been without medication for about 2 months now. I get especially bad around the full moon and when I am having my period... both which happen to coincide with each other A LOT! When I have my manic upswings I feel like supergirl! I feel indestructable and sexy and happy and wonderful. ( I wish I could bottle that...
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gone72:
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I don't have these swings myself but I do know two people that are very close to me that suffer from the same thing. One is one of my best friends and he copes by drinking and snorting coke, which unsurprisingly doesn't help. The other is my ex and she decided to up and move to Vancouver because she realised that no matter what she was not going to be happy in the relationship.
My only advice is try and keep the relationship and the depression seperate. Love won't fix the depression, but that doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship, I think you just have to be able to realise that the depression is a result of being bi-polar and not necessairly the relationship and you should be fine. But I realise that it's probably harder than it sounds. I hope you can make it work though, you deserve to be happy, with a great guy.
If you need anything I'll do whatever I can for you, and if you find this little post annoying you can slap me for it.
Take care
My only advice is try and keep the relationship and the depression seperate. Love won't fix the depression, but that doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship, I think you just have to be able to realise that the depression is a result of being bi-polar and not necessairly the relationship and you should be fine. But I realise that it's probably harder than it sounds. I hope you can make it work though, you deserve to be happy, with a great guy.
If you need anything I'll do whatever I can for you, and if you find this little post annoying you can slap me for it.
Take care
cecilia:
I felt the same way during my worst depression, and I wouldnt even let my bf visit me until I was finally admitted to the psych hospital.
I hope you make it through this, and remember to notice when the is shining, sweetie!
I hope you make it through this, and remember to notice when the is shining, sweetie!
Why must my insecurities get in the way of a good thing? Not that my insecurities are unfounded 'cause I have every reason to feel this way...I just can't get over it as quickly as I had hoped. Looks like i will end up wrecking everything....
Of course being on a manic downslope doesn't help right now. I'm cycling more then ever lately. *sad face*...
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Of course being on a manic downslope doesn't help right now. I'm cycling more then ever lately. *sad face*...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
baysponge:
Insecurities are real and legitimate ...
The issue for me is how I react to them ... I know it is usually a head vs. heart/gut thing - I try to understand what I am fearful of (as suggested above - it is usually does involve risking being hurt and/or disappointed) ...
I have been taught over the past couple of years (after a lpt of years of screwing things up) that talking & sharing the feelings and thoughts w/ people who care and are supportive & non-judgmental helps me determine what the emotions are - where they are coming from and if the insecurities are coming from me or from someone/somewhere else ... from this distinction, I can usually put things into proper perspective
I know all of this sounds easier than it is - I still struggle w/ it all - but when I do and calm down - I have a path to follow which usually ends up eventually in a good place ...
remember - you get what you pay for & this is just my 2 cents (and is not worth more) ... I hope it helps m'lady - and I'll listen if you need someone
hugs
The issue for me is how I react to them ... I know it is usually a head vs. heart/gut thing - I try to understand what I am fearful of (as suggested above - it is usually does involve risking being hurt and/or disappointed) ...
I have been taught over the past couple of years (after a lpt of years of screwing things up) that talking & sharing the feelings and thoughts w/ people who care and are supportive & non-judgmental helps me determine what the emotions are - where they are coming from and if the insecurities are coming from me or from someone/somewhere else ... from this distinction, I can usually put things into proper perspective
I know all of this sounds easier than it is - I still struggle w/ it all - but when I do and calm down - I have a path to follow which usually ends up eventually in a good place ...
remember - you get what you pay for & this is just my 2 cents (and is not worth more) ... I hope it helps m'lady - and I'll listen if you need someone
hugs
nish1:
Why are you insecure ?
Im sure that if anything gets wrecked its not you that will wreck anything.
Im sure that if anything gets wrecked its not you that will wreck anything.
Why is it that I blather on for paragraphs when nothing is going on in my life and yet when wonderful things are happening I'm at a loss of words? *sigh* and *shakes head in wonderment*
So... what have I been up to?
Oct 28th I had my long awaited day long tattoo session @ Sanctuary Tattoo in Portland. I ended up getting a Nautical...
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So... what have I been up to?
Oct 28th I had my long awaited day long tattoo session @ Sanctuary Tattoo in Portland. I ended up getting a Nautical...
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baysponge:
I went w/ my two boys to see Chicken Little last weekend - I actually also went w/ my mom so she could have some fun time w/ hem ...
they liked it - I thought it was cute ... they have been repeating parts all week - "IT"S SOOOOOO REALISTIC" ... "CLOSURE" ... how often I hear lines is usually a strong indication of how well they liked it ...
I have a birthday party weekend for my younger son over the next few days - the invasion of the hords of family starts tomorrow ... joy joy ...
I hope your weekend is better
hugs m'lady
they liked it - I thought it was cute ... they have been repeating parts all week - "IT"S SOOOOOO REALISTIC" ... "CLOSURE" ... how often I hear lines is usually a strong indication of how well they liked it ...
I have a birthday party weekend for my younger son over the next few days - the invasion of the hords of family starts tomorrow ... joy joy ...
I hope your weekend is better
hugs m'lady
shimmer:
hope u and the man are doing well...glad u r so happy lately. hope to get together again soon.