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graycen

Member Since 2005

Followers 55 Following 21

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Thursday Apr 13, 2006

Apr 13, 2006
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*shrugs shoulders*

You would think that after few days of not posting that I'd have SOMETHING to talk about. Sadly, I've got nothing to say.


Wearing: purple bra, AE undies that say SMART on the ass, jeans, aqua colored scoop neck shirt. My hair is up in a loose bun.
Feeling: NOTICE: the following are not necessarily in the order of their importance: Tired( too much gym time makes Gray a very energetic girl)...horny(ummm...yeah)...cautiously hopeful(about the house)
Planning: Going to the FNX AlternaTour on Thursday May 18th in Boston with some friends.
Jumpingup&downwithexcitement: Tattoo Day is Saturday! Yippee! Yahooooo!

**************************************************
WWYD?
(What would YOU do?)

I was going to ask the Dating Sucks Group about this but maybe I'll ask here too... When I was with my exbf, a guy at work asked me out. At the time, I was a little speechless, flattered and didn't know what to say to him, so I said I didn't date co-workers. (I did date a co-worker a long time ago and it was very awkward after we broke up.)

Most work nights this guy and I hang out and talk and I've really gotten to know him. We are at a point where we flirt and tease each other. *blush* I think it would be fun to go out sometime, but don't know how to go about asking...or even if he would want to. I mean, I basically rejected him the first time. Secondly, I'm very leery about dating a co-worker. I really don't want to be fodder for the gossip mill at work...
*Le sigh* What to do...What to do...

***************************************************

Ok.Ok. So MAYBE I had more to say than I originally thought. *grinning* Hopefully I'll get the chance to catch up with all that's going on in YOUR lives after a quick snooze...

Adios Muchachos!
*kiss*
Gray



* I was feeling ambitious and decided to start checking up on my friends and put off my nap. I always start at the beginning of the alphabet so I clicked on Allegory. I haven't known her for very long, but when I first started reading her journal I immediately felt a connection. (We are both moms and a bit older than the usual SG crowd) We surprisingly had a lot in common and we were starting to make plans to meet up when she came to NYC on business.

I just came from her SG site and dicovered from her daughter that Allegory is no longer with us. So I am sitting here crying, rather hysterically. This is hitting me hard. It is bringing up a lot of feelings I haven't had in a while. It hurts me to think about the level of sadness, desperation and hopelessness Allegory had reached in order to take her own life. I know first hand how these feelings can even overwhelm a mother's love for her children. The pain inside is so bad you'll do anything to get rid of it. I know....
I use to think that comitting suicide was brave. I tried but failed miserably each time. I convinced myself that those that succeeded were much better off and the world would be a better place, too. I can tell you now that my world is not a better place without Allegory in it. I will miss her and our blossoming friendship...
Rest in peace, darling...you're free!
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
sleeantagh:
Pretty picture smile
Apr 15, 2006
timirevolting:
So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. The way you became aware of the news must have been very difficult to handle. Had a similiar experience in the past with a friend I was'nt exactly very close to, but had a deep connection with that I had kept to myself. Had not seen her in a while and decided to stop by her work and was literally floored when I heard the news. I can somewhat imagine how you must have felt and how you may feel sad, angry and cheated out of your blossoming friendship. I hope you don't allow this to interupt your life and continue being happy.
Apr 15, 2006

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