graycen

S-O-C-K-S


wearing: A short blue flowered nightie & girly knee high tube socks. no underwear!

drinking: Decaffinated tea

dreaming: Last night, before I went to bed, I took some Melatonin to try and help me sleep. I've taken it before during the winter and it really seemed to help. Not last night though. I woke up several times. I know one of those times was due to a bad dream, but I don't remember what it was about. I guess I'll try again tonight.

doing: Today was B-O-R-I-N-G! I spend the day reading and watching the snow fall. The white stuff is STILL falling!

thinking: The official flower of V-Day should be the "bleeding heart"

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My journal entries have sucked lately. Must be the fact that I'm no longer in mourning. I guess that happends when I no longer have any emotional turmoil to feed off of. *sigh* At least I'm not alone. Some of the best artists and writers throughout history have used their pain to do remarkable things creatively. *sigh* It's not that I want to feel that way again. I don't. I don't want or need the drama. I don't want or need to feel like my heart is being ripped out. I don't want or need to feel lost. It's just that...I'd like to be able to feel something! You see... As someone who is bi-polar and is use to rapid cycling this lengthy period of feeling "even keel" is just so boring!


"To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive...

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
Id rather be anything but ordinary please..."

~Anything but Ordinary by Avril Lavigne