Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

graycen

Member Since 2005

Followers 55 Following 21

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Dec 19, 2005

Dec 19, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
This is day 3 of NC & This journal entry is titled:
"Superfox goes to a party!"

The party last night was crazy! It felt good to get out and feel human again, but when did "feeling human" include having a guy come up and stick their hand up the back of my sweater, rubbing down my back then plunging his hand down the back of my pants to feel my bare ass? *shakes head in disgust* yeah....I felt the tide of the party swiftly turning south.( *Oh MY! Wipes tears from eyes! God! I swear that wasn't an intentional pun!*) Good thing I switched to Sierra Mist and left as quickly as I could. ( I heard that 1 guy was thrown across the room and another nearly had his neck snapped off after I left!)
At some point I realized that I could use the party as a way to be self-destructive (random meaningless sex, drugs, getting toxic on alcohol) and slide into oblivion, but I didn't. I choose not to. It would look like the easy way out, but ultimately I would feel like shit in the end.
( I am most proud of myself because a few years ago I would (and probably did) exactly that!)
On my way home, around 2 am. I found myself driving down familiar roads, passing stores and places we use to frequent & the gas station I use to fill up at. It hurt like fucking hell. Usually the night is my friend, but not last night.
I called my friend Shane on the way home ( good thing he is a night owl too!) and we talked nearly the whole ride home. He knew it was important that I didn't backslide. I'm so glad for that because I would have. I need to preserve my dignity after all....


gone72:
You did great! I know the feeling, and I am certainly in your shoes right now in that I am doing everything I can not to backslide and it is tough, but so far so good wink


edit: ps. you need some pictures up...they all disappeared!!!

[Edited on Dec 19, 2005 4:55PM]
Dec 19, 2005

More Blogs

  • 07.23.06
    20

    Sunday Jul 23, 2006

    One post in the whole month of July? Eeeks! I can't have THAT happen!…
  • 07.02.06
    9

    Sunday Jul 02, 2006

    FALLACY I was fine... until... *lump now forming in throat makes swa…
  • 06.28.06
    6

    Wednesday Jun 28, 2006

    I've finally caved in and now am a member of MySpace. Apparently, I w…
  • 06.11.06
    13

    Sunday Jun 11, 2006

    A weirdness has taken over me. For years, having my nipples pierced …
  • 06.02.06
    6

    Friday Jun 02, 2006

    I should be journaling like crazy. I always do when I need to sort th…
  • 05.15.06
    9

    Monday May 15, 2006

    My horoscope said that I would be in a semi-foggy state today. It IS …
  • 05.11.06
    14

    Thursday May 11, 2006

    Wearing: hot pink and red "Bad Apple" t-shirt with aqua pj pants ( I …
  • 05.07.06
    6

    Monday May 08, 2006

    h o m e s w e e t h o m e you distracted me comple…
  • 05.05.06
    18

    Friday May 05, 2006

    Happy Cinco de Mayo! *********************************************…
  • 05.04.06
    3

    Thursday May 04, 2006

    *static* "Sandpiper, this is Eagle One...do you copy?" *Squaak* "E…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
27
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,600 SuicideGirls
  • 1,115,138 followers
  • 14,950,629 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,468,875 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo