I went out on a date last night and I got kissed. I felt bad how it went down because I held back and just wasn't "into" it. It didn't feel right. It wasn't the same. You see...The last person I kissed was my exbf...and....well... I know I can't live the rest of my life having kissed no one else but him. I know that...
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watching: the cursor *blink*...*blink*...*blink* for about 10 minutes now.
thinking: too many thoughts, but am unable to type them into this little box. where do I begin?
feeling: a mix of emotions overlapping and intertwing so badly that I can't sort things out.
wearing: bra and underwear, 1 ankle sock...I was headed for the shower when the computer beckoned me!
drinking: a glass of milk....
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thinking: too many thoughts, but am unable to type them into this little box. where do I begin?
feeling: a mix of emotions overlapping and intertwing so badly that I can't sort things out.
wearing: bra and underwear, 1 ankle sock...I was headed for the shower when the computer beckoned me!
drinking: a glass of milk....
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renegadefuzz:
I'm addicted to orange tic tacs.
I collect care bears.
I'm deathly afraid of being alone...
I collect care bears.
I'm deathly afraid of being alone...
cyamus:
Right on my dear Gray, I'm glad to hear it...
So when do we get pics of the nose, and don't give that crappy retainer excuse, retainers are cute!
I will finally be posting some pics (hopefully tomorrow afternoon)... We'll see...
So when do we get pics of the nose, and don't give that crappy retainer excuse, retainers are cute!
I will finally be posting some pics (hopefully tomorrow afternoon)... We'll see...
wearing: my fuzzy purple p.j.'s, girly tube socks, hair in a messy bun
drinking: tea
feeling: tired. I had a very restless, dream filled night last night.
thinking: can't think until I get more tea into my system.
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SUPERFOX has a (*gasp*) DATE!
I got an unexpected phone call from an old flame this weekend.( I'm talking REAL old...like back in my early college...
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drinking: tea
feeling: tired. I had a very restless, dream filled night last night.
thinking: can't think until I get more tea into my system.
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SUPERFOX has a (*gasp*) DATE!
I got an unexpected phone call from an old flame this weekend.( I'm talking REAL old...like back in my early college...
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delores:
wow... gotta love phone calls from nowhere...
good luck on the date!
and thanks for the well wishes.
a door better than Penney's has got to open up right?
good luck on the date!
and thanks for the well wishes.
a door better than Penney's has got to open up right?
gone72:
Date huh. Well have a fantastic time. And don't forget to take care of yourself. I am guessing that things are starting to look up a little bit no?
PAIN MANAGEMENT
I'm feeling some relief from my inner turmoil. Acceptance and resolution is just around the corner. Today I could FEEL it...I could almost taste it. It is coming. Pieces are starting to slip back into place without much superglue at all! What will I do with a whole heart again? What will I do?
I feel scared. I don't want to let go....
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I'm feeling some relief from my inner turmoil. Acceptance and resolution is just around the corner. Today I could FEEL it...I could almost taste it. It is coming. Pieces are starting to slip back into place without much superglue at all! What will I do with a whole heart again? What will I do?
I feel scared. I don't want to let go....
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nish1:
I'm afraid I went with Cecilia 
The name won out because there's a Saint called Cecelia and she's the patron saint of musicians
I will save the name Marisia for another instrument with wonderful tone and curves
We all have to stop being scared or we wouldnt do anything
We just have to learn as we go and try not to make the same mistakes
It's sods law to hit a part of yourself that's already hurting. I do it all the time
[Edited on Jan 14, 2006 6:43PM]
The name won out because there's a Saint called Cecelia and she's the patron saint of musicians
I will save the name Marisia for another instrument with wonderful tone and curves
We all have to stop being scared or we wouldnt do anything
We just have to learn as we go and try not to make the same mistakes
It's sods law to hit a part of yourself that's already hurting. I do it all the time
[Edited on Jan 14, 2006 6:43PM]
renegadefuzz:
lol.. woot! apparenlty I'm smart... according to cyamus at least. And yes, I suppose sitting on one's bathtub does count, but it's so much more fun in front of the computer. hmm.... perhaps if you had a really comfy terry cloth robe to sit in at the computer.. that could be comfy.
oh.. and btw.. I referenced you in my newest journal.. it's rather epic and quite a "I'm a new person!" journal, but still.. I'm pleased with it. I just thought I'd let you know that I referenced one of your journals.
wuv you.
oh.. and btw.. I referenced you in my newest journal.. it's rather epic and quite a "I'm a new person!" journal, but still.. I'm pleased with it. I just thought I'd let you know that I referenced one of your journals.
wuv you.
I'm back.
Exhausted & bruised.
Feeling like the world traveler and first class explorer that I know I am (ha!ha!)
Trying to maintain some sort of semblence of the chaos I've come back to.
Newly pierced.
Reveling in the pain.
Frustrated & angry.
Running away only creates more of a mess for me to deal with when I return.
Flying is the most beautiful feeling...
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Exhausted & bruised.
Feeling like the world traveler and first class explorer that I know I am (ha!ha!)
Trying to maintain some sort of semblence of the chaos I've come back to.
Newly pierced.
Reveling in the pain.
Frustrated & angry.
Running away only creates more of a mess for me to deal with when I return.
Flying is the most beautiful feeling...
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shimmer:
welcome back! what did u get pierced this time? definitely going to the upcoming gathering (thurs the 19th, right??)...looking forward to seeing you and your new metal (if you're willing to show it off) there! i've missed ya and have thinking about you a lot! hope all is well and you're feeling better!
luv from me!
luv from me!
renegadefuzz:
Yeah, I've given up on life getting better, I'm going to force it. Why not? It'll be one hell of a ride.
luv you gray
luv you gray
DANGER-BOY meets SUPERFOX
on my way home from work this morning "danger-boy" called and left me a voice message. i wasn't surprised since it has been 4 months since i last saw him. i figured we were due. we exchanged "happy new year's" and spoke on the phone for a little while. he wanted me to stop by his apartment, so i did. this is...
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on my way home from work this morning "danger-boy" called and left me a voice message. i wasn't surprised since it has been 4 months since i last saw him. i figured we were due. we exchanged "happy new year's" and spoke on the phone for a little while. he wanted me to stop by his apartment, so i did. this is...
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clarkekid:
You have been tagged!!!.....
1. Seven things to do before I die
2. Seven things I cannot do
3. Seven things that attract me to Calgary
4. Seven things I say most often
5. Seven books (or series) that I love
6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
7. Seven people I want to join in, too.
1. Seven things to do before I die
2. Seven things I cannot do
3. Seven things that attract me to Calgary
4. Seven things I say most often
5. Seven books (or series) that I love
6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
7. Seven people I want to join in, too.
nish1:
Have a great time in Toronto
Im glad you survived the santa trauma experiance.
Men can be stupid bastards
Im glad you survived the santa trauma experiance.
Men can be stupid bastards
graycen:
self explanatory
Last night was a bad night for me. Another beautiful disaster!
I blame myself for losing what I gained and it is entirely my fault for entertaining the ghosts of him and me.
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The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old man
How badly is it broken?
It's in a million little pieces.
I'm afraid I can't help...
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I blame myself for losing what I gained and it is entirely my fault for entertaining the ghosts of him and me.
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The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old man
How badly is it broken?
It's in a million little pieces.
I'm afraid I can't help...
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delores:
thanks for the comment... i wrote that list one night in november when i couldn't sleep. i had just gotten a typewriter and pounded that list out in a couple of minutes...
i'm sorry that you (or anyone else for that matter) are feeling as jaded and cynical about life and love as i am this past year.
and i do think that if something wants to stay broken, all the glue in the world can't fix it...
i hope things start to look up.
i'm sorry that you (or anyone else for that matter) are feeling as jaded and cynical about life and love as i am this past year.
and i do think that if something wants to stay broken, all the glue in the world can't fix it...
i hope things start to look up.
renegadefuzz:
hey babe.. thanks for the new years wishes...
I hope things go better in the new year for you as well.
and yes, animal crackers do rock, but I love the fact that teddy grahams come in all sorts of flavors and are especially tasty, specifically when one has a jar of frosting to dip them in. yummy!
but then, isn't everything more fun with a jar of frosting?
I hope things go better in the new year for you as well.
and yes, animal crackers do rock, but I love the fact that teddy grahams come in all sorts of flavors and are especially tasty, specifically when one has a jar of frosting to dip them in. yummy!
but then, isn't everything more fun with a jar of frosting?
SUPERFOX embraces a New Year!
There was no big countdown. The transition from 2005 to 2006 was seamless. I always expect something to happen to signify the passing of a old year. (heads bent in respect, perhaps? church bells ringing? The Earth heaving over on it's axis, causing the world to momentarily stop spinning? Something like that!) Someone asked " What time is it?" "12:03!!!"...
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There was no big countdown. The transition from 2005 to 2006 was seamless. I always expect something to happen to signify the passing of a old year. (heads bent in respect, perhaps? church bells ringing? The Earth heaving over on it's axis, causing the world to momentarily stop spinning? Something like that!) Someone asked " What time is it?" "12:03!!!"...
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clarkekid:
Ha ha... no better way to bring in the new year than with animated porn.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
nish1:
Happy New Year
My new years eve was cool but no animated porn
My new years eve was cool but no animated porn
wearing: my super soft teal pj bottoms and Matt's white nike t-shirt with black lettering, geek girl glasses, hair up in a messy bun.
smelling: like rosemary and lemongrass (my new shampoo)
reading: "Drums of Autumn"
liking: my hair. I'm now a strawberry blonde!!!
feeling: an odd mixture of excitement (for the upcoming new year) and sadness ( what exactly did I acheive in 2005?...
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smelling: like rosemary and lemongrass (my new shampoo)
reading: "Drums of Autumn"
liking: my hair. I'm now a strawberry blonde!!!
feeling: an odd mixture of excitement (for the upcoming new year) and sadness ( what exactly did I acheive in 2005?...
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whitewidow:
Kisses
Kisses
My heart is feeling weak today. I can feel it fluttering and skipping beats. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I'm back to day 1 of NC (again) because I'm spineless and helpless to the past surging through my senses. I'm feeling everything all over again. Smells conjure up memories. I turned on the radio and heard back to back to back to back songs...
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gone72:
You are not weak!!! And niether is your heart. You will be just fine, there is no dying allowed! And I promise the shaking, and the sinking feeling will go away.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about...
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gone72:
No, not crazy at all. My ex sent me a text message last night at 2:30 in the morning. It said "Merry Christmas angel" and that was it. I figured after breaking up with me in April she would be past the "angel" stuff but apparently not. I don't know what to think but I do know that replying was not an option, and I hate the way it made me feel.
nish1:
I hope you and your family had a great day and have a brilliant new year
I hope you and your family had a great day and have a brilliant new year
Take as much time as you need...