oh kids, tonight confirms what an idiot i am...
i am so fucking pathetic... i called him when i was drunk cause i was lonely.. im fucking stupid.
im drunk and high right now.. and its not helping. i want to go away, i want to hide and never come out. i want to stop feeling all together and while were on the me list.. id like a frontal labotomy.
he didnt even recgonize my phone number.. you knwo that? now why do i even care? hes out fucking two other chicks right now and he said he cared about me.. so why is that surprising me ?? oh thats right.. i figured i might have ment something to him.. or someone for that matter. no... no you didnt.. DUMB FUCK!
cant i just turn it off? cant i not care? no.
and on top of all this wonderfulness....i pissed my best frtiend off again for calling him and his girlfriend too.
basically i fucked up again and i cant fix it.. as usual.
im alone, im fucked up. i dont feel like i fit in anywhere.. what is this? late teen angst? no.. preadult drama? ...maybe this is the result from all those antidepressants ive been taking? i was begining to think i was normal and then fuck.. ... i pickl up my ohone and hope again.. hope i can call someone to talk.. to hang otu.. to anythign... and i fuck it up. i stick around too long.. the wrong kids show up.. something gets taken the wrong way.. and now shits all fucked up... ...
im having an icky night..a. i want to wake up and have everythign be normal again... just me being alone.. and i swear this time i wont t ry to have friends again.. i wont try to talk to anyone..just fix what i did and let me be alone again. i promise.. ok?
i swear..i wont hope again.
i am so fucking pathetic... i called him when i was drunk cause i was lonely.. im fucking stupid.
im drunk and high right now.. and its not helping. i want to go away, i want to hide and never come out. i want to stop feeling all together and while were on the me list.. id like a frontal labotomy.
he didnt even recgonize my phone number.. you knwo that? now why do i even care? hes out fucking two other chicks right now and he said he cared about me.. so why is that surprising me ?? oh thats right.. i figured i might have ment something to him.. or someone for that matter. no... no you didnt.. DUMB FUCK!
cant i just turn it off? cant i not care? no.
and on top of all this wonderfulness....i pissed my best frtiend off again for calling him and his girlfriend too.
basically i fucked up again and i cant fix it.. as usual.
im alone, im fucked up. i dont feel like i fit in anywhere.. what is this? late teen angst? no.. preadult drama? ...maybe this is the result from all those antidepressants ive been taking? i was begining to think i was normal and then fuck.. ... i pickl up my ohone and hope again.. hope i can call someone to talk.. to hang otu.. to anythign... and i fuck it up. i stick around too long.. the wrong kids show up.. something gets taken the wrong way.. and now shits all fucked up... ...
im having an icky night..a. i want to wake up and have everythign be normal again... just me being alone.. and i swear this time i wont t ry to have friends again.. i wont try to talk to anyone..just fix what i did and let me be alone again. i promise.. ok?
i swear..i wont hope again.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
There's an old saying that "anything said drunk is thought sober". Don't be so hard on yourself. Breaking up sucks and it hurts, you're going to have second thoughts going both ways almost every time.
Hope you're feeling better soon.