grayblue

okay, something that i hate a lot -
went to a party last night and met a girl that was damn cool, and whom i very much wanted to get to know better. another girl was at the party. a girl that i've been flirting with (and vice-versa) for quite. so what do i do? i get drunk, makeout with the girl that i've been flirting with for a while, and probably blow all chances with the girl i met.
is it so bad that while aprt of me is so desparately looking for love, that the other part of me just wants to meet/date new girls... man, bein' a bachelor is rough. i didn't get the new girl's number (i didn't take the chance to ask for it, cuz i was supposed to go to the bar with her afterwards and, well, didn't), but i did get her name. would it be too forward of me to look her up and give her a call? what have i got to lose?
i just hate people to think i'm an asshole. even though i am.

so yeah, my mood switches all the time, and i wander between one extreme and another, never resting in one spot, always teetering back and forth.
sorry to make you all ride my personal rollercoaster.
ARGH. i just want... ah hell, i don't know what i want anymore.