too much time alone in my room. starting to feel down again. thinking of her a lot. i miss her. and i can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing.
am i being whiny? does this all make me seem pathetic?
GODDAMMIT.
i just want to know one way or the other. i want to know that it could work and have her back, or know that it won't so i can let myself move on.
all i am right now is stuck in this purgatory within my mind where nothing makes sense and i can only think about this one thing. i need to break out of this, in either direction, but i can't, and i domn't know if that's a sign that i need her back, or if it's a sign that i've got problems. or what. goddammit. goddammit. goddammit.
what i know: i didn't work before due to a whole host of circumstances derived from one problem, which has been taken care of (i think).
when i see her, i want to kiss her.
with her in my arms, nothing has ever felt so right.
my bed feels empty without her beside me.
what i also know:
i can't stand most of her friends.
she's young.
what i don't know:
if there's a chance.
if the damage can ever be mended.
if i still love her as i once did.
if she still loves me.
feeling beaten up by the iron gauntlets of my own thoughts.
am i being whiny? does this all make me seem pathetic?
GODDAMMIT.
i just want to know one way or the other. i want to know that it could work and have her back, or know that it won't so i can let myself move on.
all i am right now is stuck in this purgatory within my mind where nothing makes sense and i can only think about this one thing. i need to break out of this, in either direction, but i can't, and i domn't know if that's a sign that i need her back, or if it's a sign that i've got problems. or what. goddammit. goddammit. goddammit.
what i know: i didn't work before due to a whole host of circumstances derived from one problem, which has been taken care of (i think).
when i see her, i want to kiss her.
with her in my arms, nothing has ever felt so right.
my bed feels empty without her beside me.
what i also know:
i can't stand most of her friends.
she's young.
what i don't know:
if there's a chance.
if the damage can ever be mended.
if i still love her as i once did.
if she still loves me.
feeling beaten up by the iron gauntlets of my own thoughts.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
rocket2:
awwwww cheer up! dont feel blue. the worst thin or could ofs or should ofs. youre proly just missing the whole feeling that she personifies. but if you dont start imagining other people who can fill her place....you wont be open to new love. 
rocket2:
that was a little jumbled but you get the point.