grayblue

i told a very, very elaborate lie today, so that i wouldn't have to go into work thursday through saturday.
i've found that it's much easier to tell a very elaborate lie convincingly when it's done face to face.
hey, believe me, if you were a telemarketer, you'd lie to 'em too.

"until morale improves, the beatings will continue"
by Murder By Death

i walked the road from tuscon to san antone,
the smell of blood on my brain
ninety days of sweat and dirt feels like one night when you've got nothin' left.

there's nothin' left to do
but die.

buckshot is my brand, i'll drink whiskey instead of water,
cuz i can't stand to be...
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applying for jobs online like a madman... oddly, they're all in LA or NY.

didn't get the office job. fuckers.
i'm feeling very old... and on the verge of a breakdown. just so much shit.


and explain this to me - i'm watching Casino on u.s.a., right?
here's my question - they can say "kike" and "nigger" but not "jesus christ" "fuck" or "faggot".... how exactly does their censoring policy work?!?!?

why
Why
WHY?!?!!?!?!?!
ar eall of the women in my life insane?
now, i don't just mean the typical run-of-the-mill female stuff, i mean FUCKING CERTIFIABLE depressed, suicidal, manic/depressive, bipolar, paranoid/schizophrenic.
between the ex girlfriends and my sis (who's currently in the hospital, gee, guess why) and all the others...
what is it about me? i don't get it! i'd like to just once, have...
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had a job interview today for a position i like to call "office bitch". but i've played office bitch before, and i'm good at it... and it ain't telemarketing, so i hope i get it. i think i may have a shot... i was interviewed by a bunch of middle-aged women... and for some reason, middle-aged women always find me attractive, hey, i ain't too...
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now accepting donations to the "move gray's ass to LA fund"
send me an email for mailing information and details on how you - yes you! can recieve an executive producer's credit on my first major motion picture.
hey - a guy can dream, can't he?

let's pretend for just a second that i don't hate my life right now...
oh wait...
to bend reality like that would require the mental capacities of someone who uses over 100% of their brain.
so nevermind.

save me.
please.

you know what?
i really hate my life right now.

and i took two big chunks out of my knuckle last night on the cheese grater. sadly, that's the most exciting thing to happen to me lately.

again, i hate my life right now.

whatever it may be -
pimp it out.