I don't know if this is a discussion topic I'm creating or just me making an observation, or my going off on a tangent, or what....but I have to just get it out of my head and onto virtual paper.
As many of you know, (and if you didnt before, you will now) I'm single....sometimes it seems painfully so... and I've decided to experiment with the whole idea of online dating. I created a profile for myself on a site, and set about the task of meeting new people. I did all the things one would consider right, I wrote a detailed bio, posted enough pictures in various poses and locales to give a good impression of what my ugly mug looks like in real life, and then began searching.
I sent out emails to only those whom I was truly interested in, or felt I might at least have a decent conversation with and I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I found, at best, I get one response for every 30-40 emails I send out. And those women who write to me unprompted? The vast majority I'm not even remotely interested in.
So I decide to do some market research. I contact a female friend of mine, who I know is also trying the online dating thing, and I ask if she could send me some of her more successful emails. The ones from guys that she read and then felt she had to respond. So I could compare my email to theirs.
"I dont get any of those.", she says.
"What?", I ask, "You dont get ANY interesting emails? Ever?"
"Not like what you're saying." she says, "The ones I consider good, sadly, are the ones that dont suck like all the rest. Honestly, 99% of the emails I get make me say, 'And what makes you think I would respond to that?', and then occasionaly I get one where it looks like the guy actually thought first. Those, I might actually write back."
Wow, I thought. Are we ALL that bad, those of us with the twigs and berries? So I have her send me a cross-sampling of the BAD emails she gets. The ones she would never even think to respond to. I have her strip the names out, because I dont want to know who these guys are, just what they said.
I find they all fall into one of three camps.
1) Greeters (90%)
2) Unflinching pervs (8%)
3) Wildly creepy (2%)
The greeters all say a variation of "Hi, check me out." Some might be cocky about it, some self-depricating, but all do it in one or two brief sentences that say nothing whatsoever. "Hey, I saw you. Liked it. Come see me."
The pervs are so predictable as to not even bear mentioning here, so we'll ignore them, other than to say, these guys cant EVER think this tactic would work. And would you truly WANT any of the women it would work on?
And the creepy ones, well, they fall into the realm of seriously needing medication and a good nap. Like the guy who went to great legnths to say he wasnt looking for a female baby factory, but, as he felt the need to breed, he wanted a woman to have his babies. (Wish I was making that up)
Now any lady who has gotten an email from me (hell, anyone who knows me) knows I would never settle for a "Hi. Look at me." email. Hell, I cant even make brief blogs!
But on further examination, I found that even though my emails to a lady I dont know are a bit more detailed and seem to say more than the typical "Greeter" mail...in the end, they are just more verbose versions of "Hi. Look at me."
So either this online dating thing is an utter failure, or I need to learn to write my introduction better.
So what do you think? You know me....and 99% of you dont want to date me. But, what, if anything, could I say to make you notice ME?
As many of you know, (and if you didnt before, you will now) I'm single....sometimes it seems painfully so... and I've decided to experiment with the whole idea of online dating. I created a profile for myself on a site, and set about the task of meeting new people. I did all the things one would consider right, I wrote a detailed bio, posted enough pictures in various poses and locales to give a good impression of what my ugly mug looks like in real life, and then began searching.
I sent out emails to only those whom I was truly interested in, or felt I might at least have a decent conversation with and I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I found, at best, I get one response for every 30-40 emails I send out. And those women who write to me unprompted? The vast majority I'm not even remotely interested in.
So I decide to do some market research. I contact a female friend of mine, who I know is also trying the online dating thing, and I ask if she could send me some of her more successful emails. The ones from guys that she read and then felt she had to respond. So I could compare my email to theirs.
"I dont get any of those.", she says.
"What?", I ask, "You dont get ANY interesting emails? Ever?"
"Not like what you're saying." she says, "The ones I consider good, sadly, are the ones that dont suck like all the rest. Honestly, 99% of the emails I get make me say, 'And what makes you think I would respond to that?', and then occasionaly I get one where it looks like the guy actually thought first. Those, I might actually write back."
Wow, I thought. Are we ALL that bad, those of us with the twigs and berries? So I have her send me a cross-sampling of the BAD emails she gets. The ones she would never even think to respond to. I have her strip the names out, because I dont want to know who these guys are, just what they said.
I find they all fall into one of three camps.
1) Greeters (90%)
2) Unflinching pervs (8%)
3) Wildly creepy (2%)
The greeters all say a variation of "Hi, check me out." Some might be cocky about it, some self-depricating, but all do it in one or two brief sentences that say nothing whatsoever. "Hey, I saw you. Liked it. Come see me."
The pervs are so predictable as to not even bear mentioning here, so we'll ignore them, other than to say, these guys cant EVER think this tactic would work. And would you truly WANT any of the women it would work on?
And the creepy ones, well, they fall into the realm of seriously needing medication and a good nap. Like the guy who went to great legnths to say he wasnt looking for a female baby factory, but, as he felt the need to breed, he wanted a woman to have his babies. (Wish I was making that up)
Now any lady who has gotten an email from me (hell, anyone who knows me) knows I would never settle for a "Hi. Look at me." email. Hell, I cant even make brief blogs!
But on further examination, I found that even though my emails to a lady I dont know are a bit more detailed and seem to say more than the typical "Greeter" mail...in the end, they are just more verbose versions of "Hi. Look at me."
So either this online dating thing is an utter failure, or I need to learn to write my introduction better.
So what do you think? You know me....and 99% of you dont want to date me. But, what, if anything, could I say to make you notice ME?