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graveshow

New Jersey

Member Since 2005

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Sunday Sep 14, 2008

Sep 14, 2008
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A lady I'm pretty good friends with and I have been having these long discussions about what we're doing on the singles / dating scene, and why we're doing it.

I tend to over-analyze myself a helluva lot, and I sit and ponder imponderables more than I probably should for my own sanity, but I've of late begun to wonder...why on earth do we do this? This search for "The One". The one person we will share our life with.

As I said to someone the other day, if we are all meant to have that special someone, and if there is that one person who is meant to be our soulmate, sometimes I wonder if maybe mine is in the Witness Protection program. Or worse yet, I already had her in my arms and screwed it up somehow.

Because when I look at it logically, I realize, this whole putting yourself out there and trying to find love thing hurts. It hurts a lot. But, like little masochists, we dust ourselves off and skip blithely along for the next try, thinking, "This time...this time it wont hurt. This time will be The One."

The Romantic in me says that's the only way to live, the only thing I know how to do. Keep pressing on, because that mythical SHE has got to be out there somewhere. Right? I mean, I cant be destined to be alone forever, can I?

But the pragmatic me says I'm Don Quixote, tilting at yet another windmill, thinking that eventually one will become what I seek.when reality says the odds are against it. The analogy I gave my friend was, its like shoving your hand into this dark, dank bucket, because you know somewhere inside it lies a diamond. Yet every single time you pull out a handful of shit.

Does it make logical sense that we as humans willingly shove our hands back into the bucket, in search of that diamond after wiping the shit from our hands? How come we don't ever seem to get the good sense to instead, put the bucket down and find pursuits that have a bigger return on our efforts? Why do we continue to close our eyes, grit our teeth and say, "This time baby! This time I'm all diamonds!"????

I ask these questions knowing full well they dont have answers, and knowing full well, that the romantic in me is far stronger than the pragmatist, but somehow I hope, that by getting it out of my brain and on the page, that I can get them off my mind.

Now, if you'll excuse me...I have a bucket to go plunge my hand into.

Gleefully.

Hope I get my diamond this time.
user0207231052:
I like this post....a lot
Sep 14, 2008

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