(Back post: Actually written 6/24/06)
Cars.....
...got up this morning, in the hopes of working in the garden, but the grey skies and drops of wet that fell from them killed that idea quick. So I thought, "Hey! Cj and I can go to the movies...."
He wanted to see the new Disney/Pixar flick, "Cars".
I figured, what the hell, lets go.
problem is, so did half the parents in South Jersey.
The theatre was PACKED to the gills.
No problem. Right? I mean, its a day out for me and my boy, and we can just ignore the rest of the people.
After making our way through the refreshment queue, we enter the theatre to find that there are very few seats left. We find 4 open ones in the fourth row, and occupy the inner two. Then, much to my chagrin, in walks a couple with three kids, ranging in age from 2.5 to about 5 or so. Brainiacs that they are, dad goes to two free seats in the first row with the eldest, and mom, who apparently didnt show up for class the day they handed brains out, figures she can wedge herself, with TWO kids, into the two seats next to us. 3 people. 2 seats. Guess she missed out on math class too.
I decide to deal with it. Theyre kids, right? Its a kids movie. Let them enjoy the film.
So for the first hour I endure this little kid kicking me in the leg. Pulling on my shirt. Talking. Getting up. Sitting down. Talking louder. Kicking my leg. Running his toy car up and down the armrest banging it into my elbow. Talking even louder. Getting up. Sitting down. Then his sister starts. Shes doing all the same motions. And SINGING. "la la la la la la la...".
No one pays attention. All of us parents play the ignore game. Its not my kid. Dont embarass the parents. Pretend they arent misbehaving.
She sings LOUDER.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
Little boy kicks my leg.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
Little boy begins yelling like a dinosaur. "Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!" and kicks me again.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
"Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!"
The mom does.....nothing.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
"Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!"
Finally I've had enough.
I turn and face both of them.
"Excuse me," I say, in a calm but very adult voice, "Both of you. SHHH! And sit down please."
Oh....you know whats coming next dont you dear reader? Cant you just sense it? Isnt the outcome of this so palpable you can taste its inner juciness?
Mom turns to me and says.....
Wait for it....
"Don't you DARE shush my son. He's only two and a half!"
I look at her ever so calmly.
"I wouldnt have to if YOU would do it."
"He's only two and a half. He doesnt know any better."
I arch one eyebrow, like I'm want to do at times like these, "He'll know better if you TEACH him better. I paid for MY seats as well as you did. Please reign in your children."
Wonder of wonders, she says.... "Well...maybe you and your son should MOVE to another seat."
Our voices still barely above a whisper, I say, enunciating every word carefully, "So I should switch seats because you dont have the ability to control your child? Which one of you is the parent in this relationship? Personally, I'd be highly embarassed if I was in a public place and it took some other parent to point out when MY child was being rude."
She got up.
Gathered her brood.
And went to her husband in the front row. She whispered something in his ear. Then they both looked at me, she with that, "Oh youre gonna get it now! My man is gonna get you!" look on her face, and he with that "Whos ass do I have to kick to please my queen?" look on his.
I gave them both my calmest stare. And said, loud enough for them to hear, "Problem?".
Her husband turned away and went back to the movie.
She gave him a look that said he would be sleeping on the couch for days to come.
"I didnt think so." I said to them.
I believe she spent the remainder of the movie in the lobby with her mewling brats.
CJ and I spent our time thouroughly enjoying the film. I highly recommend it.
Cars.....
...got up this morning, in the hopes of working in the garden, but the grey skies and drops of wet that fell from them killed that idea quick. So I thought, "Hey! Cj and I can go to the movies...."
He wanted to see the new Disney/Pixar flick, "Cars".
I figured, what the hell, lets go.
problem is, so did half the parents in South Jersey.
The theatre was PACKED to the gills.
No problem. Right? I mean, its a day out for me and my boy, and we can just ignore the rest of the people.
After making our way through the refreshment queue, we enter the theatre to find that there are very few seats left. We find 4 open ones in the fourth row, and occupy the inner two. Then, much to my chagrin, in walks a couple with three kids, ranging in age from 2.5 to about 5 or so. Brainiacs that they are, dad goes to two free seats in the first row with the eldest, and mom, who apparently didnt show up for class the day they handed brains out, figures she can wedge herself, with TWO kids, into the two seats next to us. 3 people. 2 seats. Guess she missed out on math class too.
I decide to deal with it. Theyre kids, right? Its a kids movie. Let them enjoy the film.
So for the first hour I endure this little kid kicking me in the leg. Pulling on my shirt. Talking. Getting up. Sitting down. Talking louder. Kicking my leg. Running his toy car up and down the armrest banging it into my elbow. Talking even louder. Getting up. Sitting down. Then his sister starts. Shes doing all the same motions. And SINGING. "la la la la la la la...".
No one pays attention. All of us parents play the ignore game. Its not my kid. Dont embarass the parents. Pretend they arent misbehaving.
She sings LOUDER.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
Little boy kicks my leg.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
Little boy begins yelling like a dinosaur. "Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!" and kicks me again.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
"Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!"
The mom does.....nothing.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".
"Rarrrrr! Rarrrr!"
Finally I've had enough.
I turn and face both of them.
"Excuse me," I say, in a calm but very adult voice, "Both of you. SHHH! And sit down please."
Oh....you know whats coming next dont you dear reader? Cant you just sense it? Isnt the outcome of this so palpable you can taste its inner juciness?
Mom turns to me and says.....
Wait for it....
"Don't you DARE shush my son. He's only two and a half!"
I look at her ever so calmly.
"I wouldnt have to if YOU would do it."
"He's only two and a half. He doesnt know any better."
I arch one eyebrow, like I'm want to do at times like these, "He'll know better if you TEACH him better. I paid for MY seats as well as you did. Please reign in your children."
Wonder of wonders, she says.... "Well...maybe you and your son should MOVE to another seat."
Our voices still barely above a whisper, I say, enunciating every word carefully, "So I should switch seats because you dont have the ability to control your child? Which one of you is the parent in this relationship? Personally, I'd be highly embarassed if I was in a public place and it took some other parent to point out when MY child was being rude."
She got up.
Gathered her brood.
And went to her husband in the front row. She whispered something in his ear. Then they both looked at me, she with that, "Oh youre gonna get it now! My man is gonna get you!" look on her face, and he with that "Whos ass do I have to kick to please my queen?" look on his.
I gave them both my calmest stare. And said, loud enough for them to hear, "Problem?".
Her husband turned away and went back to the movie.
She gave him a look that said he would be sleeping on the couch for days to come.
"I didnt think so." I said to them.
I believe she spent the remainder of the movie in the lobby with her mewling brats.
CJ and I spent our time thouroughly enjoying the film. I highly recommend it.