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graven

neverland, MN

Member Since 2003

Followers 7 Following 28

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Tuesday Dec 28, 2004

Dec 28, 2004
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Sometimes I wake up in the morning
The gingerlady by my bed
Covered in a cloak of silence
I hear you in my head
I'm not singing for the future
I'm not dreaming of the past
I'm not talking of the fist time
I never think about the last


My brother-in-law and sister are driving in the lane next to me when he suddenly veers to the right and disappears among the blindingly fast traffic. My sister has a look of shock on her face as she watches me moving slowly to the left, forced on by the cars completely surrounding me. I give my brother-in-law a half-hearted middle finger as I'm driven away from the road "home".

And at the next stop, a silver lining appears as I'm surrounded by the old neighborhood. That strange, numb and cold feeling that the suburbs give me (having lived in them for two years altogether) has no way past the boundaries of happiness put up by just being in the inner city. The antique-wanna-be streets lights, the attempts at cobblestone streets. The feeling of Christmas all the year.

There I am, 20 years old, a hundred pounds lighter (and horribly handsome), sitting in the shade of a perfectly trimmed tree. I'm wearing a white dress shirt and a black Beatles tie. My hair is gelled forward in an <i>ER</i>-era George Clooney style. My legs, dressed in black corduroy, are pulled up to my chest as I read Anne Rice. I hold a white Metro transit ticket as I wait for my connecting bus to deliver me the final half of my trip to work.

There's the Nicollet mall.

Down that street over there, things become slightly dirtier. An abandoned car dealership once stood there, right next to the rusting railroad tracks. I always wondered what lie over that bridge...

I relish every ounce of this place, not in the country mouse sees huge buildings way, but in the "this is where I belong" way. If it's possible that a part of a city can feel like destiny, then that must be what this section is to me. There are no apartments that I know of in this area or I would move there, damn college and the lot. It's not impulsive, it's destiny.

I decide they'll be worried and may attempt to find me, so I hit Lyndale, then 35W North, then Snelling, wave "hi" to my old comic shop The Source (who still send postcards to my dad's home), then County Road B2 east until I'm at the intersection of Rice and B2, where an Old Home bakery stands, behind it a large, nice trailer community where my father's house lies.

I walk in the door. My brother-in-law is shocked and looks at his watch. "Damn, Ryno, you were only ten minutes after us! I was worried you would get lost!"

"Get lost?" I said, smirking and taking my coat off, "I can't get lost in the Cities.." Impossible.

Hope you all had a great Christmas.

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