graven

i'm going to be personal for two points:

1: i'm addicted to being irresponsible. i just can't focus on anything, especially the things i love. i just can't get enough ambition to do anything that doesn't evolve staring at a screen for hours on end. i want to write, but i get bored. i want to draw, but i get bored. i want to be creative, period, but i end up watching bad movies or tv or playing videogames.

to make matters worse, everything around me is going to hell and i'm too lazy to fix it.

i want to go back to school badly. my resume, if you can call it that, is just a complete mess and i can't even get hired at a fucking factory. i need to get back into school, where i was happy, though how happy can a 25 year old be in college surrounded by mostly teenagers who think he's tragically unhip? i have enough problems dealing with shitty kids at burger king for god's sake.

2: i'm horribly depressed about #1. so much so that i can't do anything, period. i'm completely inactive.

i need to pay off a late student loan at a collection agency or i can't be eligible for financial aid, yet i don't pay it back. i spend my paychecks on stupid shit.

though i DO have a great dvd collection...