I don't understand.
How the fuck can I be miserable until I'm 18 years old, work my ass off for 6 months and become what I've always wanted to be, then spend the next five or six years letting all that hard work go to shit until I'm back to what I was when I started?
Why don't I care about the thing that makes me the most heartbroken? Why can't I change my sub-con?
God, I'm almost bawling over this. Why the fuck can't I change the things I hate about myself?
Why can't I learn self-discipline? I want to so badly and I'm sick of all these New Age fucks saying I "MUST NOT WANT IT ENOUGH". It's the only thing I care about and I can't fix it!
Have you ever read Jhonen's two Devi books "I Feel Sick"? That's me! I feel as if I have some external force trying hard to make me fail.
There's a conspiracy here and I'll wipe it out...maybe with some drugs?
How the fuck can I be miserable until I'm 18 years old, work my ass off for 6 months and become what I've always wanted to be, then spend the next five or six years letting all that hard work go to shit until I'm back to what I was when I started?
Why don't I care about the thing that makes me the most heartbroken? Why can't I change my sub-con?
God, I'm almost bawling over this. Why the fuck can't I change the things I hate about myself?
Why can't I learn self-discipline? I want to so badly and I'm sick of all these New Age fucks saying I "MUST NOT WANT IT ENOUGH". It's the only thing I care about and I can't fix it!
Have you ever read Jhonen's two Devi books "I Feel Sick"? That's me! I feel as if I have some external force trying hard to make me fail.
There's a conspiracy here and I'll wipe it out...maybe with some drugs?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
yeah, i don't intend on ever working for a big corporation or "the man"; my interests to serve people one on one would never be compatible with "him"
ooh, self-discipline, where art thou? i'm-a searchin too - believe you me
she's a sneaky little sprite she is, and from what i've gathered, i don't think she'll appear and until we cry pardon waving our white flag
a bitch she is too
oy vey
Europe in a wider world: 1350-1650
Boccaccio - The Decameron
The Portable Machiavelli
Erasmus - The Praise of Folly and Other Writings
Montaigne - Essays
Cervantes - Exemplary Stories
Kierkegaard - Fear and Trembling, From Sickness Unto Death
Camus - the Myth of Sisyphus
Dostoevsky - Notes from Underground
Beckett - Waiting for Godot
and for the pleasure of reading (when i have the time) King - The Talisman
ugh.