graven

I have to confess.

I don't want to be like me. I would give nearly anything to be anyone else. I know what strengths I have, but I can't help and think that my weaknesses far outweigh those. Obviously, I can't change who I am. There are things I can't change, but are simply instinct.

I've missed out on a lot in my life. Opportunities slipped past. Minutes of mistakes have become months of dealing with complete bullshit.

So this is my confession: I don't want this anymore. I know who I am, I know what I've found. I just don't want it.

So...someone trade me?

But realistically, I've come to accept that things sometimes happen that you have no control over and then there's the things you work hard for that give you that sense of pride.

I wrote a book. And I like it, even for the weaknesses in it. (for example, it gets melodramatic, just like me right now!) But my next book is making me feel like I can't really get what I want in the end. And what I want is very realistic. My days of dreaming I was president are over. Yes, Natalie Portman will never talk to me. I just want a simple life.

ANY...WHERE...BUT...IN THIS HOUSE. Thank whatever that I'm moving soon. Maybe then things will look up. But for now, I'm just really, really bored.