gravedoll666

Well, may hair is red and short again. I'm just sitting here so scared about how things are going to be when my husband gets back that I have myself wishing that I wasn't married. I don't doubt that it's that I am married to the wrong guy, I just doubt that I should of gotten married so young. I mean I almost got married a year out of high school. I have my regrets because when I was single I only gave the assholes the chances, now that I am married I am meeting so many wonderful ppl that I would of given my left arm to be with. I'm not trying to make my husband feel bad it's just that I feel like I have done the right thing to help him, but in my heart I do not feel like I have done the right thing for myself. Or maybe it's because I'm waiting for this marriage to tear me apart and be the end of all that i know....but I do also know that I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't married. I love this man but I wanna beat myself up for wanting others. I wanna give myself a lobotomy somedays!! I wonder what the hell is wrong with me? I love being with chris but my libido is so damn big! Why??? God!!!!!!!! Anyway...I'm through running myself and him through the mud.....yea the dinner, that was fine, it was good food but what sucked was that I got my period in the middle of it!!! God! that'll ruin your night! Didn't really drink too much this weekend concidering that I was almost broke and only had half a bottle of bacardi O and 5 mini bottles of sunny D. But it was deccent, got drunk again this last weekend too! got into a wrestling match with jack and scratched the shit out of each other!! that was fun, especially when it came time to shower! EESH!! Anyway that's about all, natty is in the middle of fixing the computer so it's crappy right now! Too slow to actually check up on you ppl and actually see whats going on in your end(s) of the world! but !! Know that I will be back!!! THE LORD AND MASTER!!! love ya!!! (jack..I have yet to see results!! )