grasshopperist

I asked the terrifyingly beautiful girl next to me if she wanted to come out to a wine bar and flashcard the Arabic alphabet. She made some excuses that seemed quite a bit like she was turning me down for a date. I almost told her that I'm looking for a study partner, not a girlfriend.

Granted, she is terrifyingly beautiful and I'd be lying if I said I don't like beautiful company. But I'm not so much "swinging" right now as I am "hanging" - that is, not really looking. I have better shit to do than chase tail. Of course, the fact that I'm not actively looking doesn't imply that I'm not going to look when the time is right.

I at least have an academic understanding of feminism. My ex-girlfriend insisted that I'd never "get it," but I like to think that I get it enough to avoid offending women by my everyday presence. Of course there's probably some institutional sexism hiding away, but I like to weed it out where I see it. Regardless, I'm starting to feel the "nice guy" burn - not that I'm whining, but I always feel like asking women out is going to reinforce the idea that women are "for" dating. Retarded? Yes. Culturally sanctioned? Certainly.

I guess my beef is that I really just want more pretty and smart company. Who's to blame me for wanting to hang out with knockout linguiphiles all the time? It beats studying alone. But the trick is being able to craft a pseudo-date environment without convincing someone that I A) want a girlfriend and B) don't want a girlfriend.

Somebody call Hofstadter.