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grafman

Ashford

Member Since 2007

Followers 9 Following 27

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Friday Mar 30, 2007

Mar 29, 2007
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That soft, wet tearing sound you can hear is my heart getting a kicking again. After barely a week as a couple my g/f decided that things weren't working out. Apparently it's not me, it's her. She doesn't feel anything for me in that way, despite thinking that she did for a few weeks. I'm absolutely gutted. I've had a major crush on her for ages and when she asked me last week I actually started to fall for her properly. Now I'm feeling like a big ol' fool. I think she wanted me to rant and rave and call her a bitch but thats just not me. 1. I can't see the point as it won't solve anything and 2. I'm a big ol' door mat and just let everyone have their own way and bugger what I want. Last night I was this close *holds up thumb and forefinger about an inch appart* to phoning her and saying "Oi! I'm not letting this end without fighting for it!" but after I'd texted to ask if it was ok to phone she said to phone today instead. So I phoned and I chickened out as I've major rejection fear and trust issues and I could just tell by the tone of her voice that it wasn't going to go anywhere. I'm beginning to wonder if I was Vlad the Impaler in a previous life as karma really seems to have it in for me of late! Maybe I should "do an Earl" and make a karma list?
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grafman:
I wish I could believe that there was someone out there for me, whatever their gender, but to be honest I'm getting fed up of the heartache and I'm begining to doubt whether it's all worth it. i might just get me a bunch of cats instead!

Hmmm..who would be on my karma list! *thinks*

1. My ex-b/f for not telling him that I loved him before he died. Not much I can do about that though!

2. A teacher I told a lie about when I was 7. I was being bullied and when Ma asked if I'd told a teacher I said I did and that she'd not done anything as Ma would have told me off for not telling someone. the teacher nearly lost her job.

3. All the shop owners who I've ever stolen from. Went through a bit of a klepto phase as a teenager and stole a lot of candy and beer.

Mar 31, 2007
daughterhermes:
The list sounds nice dear.

Let's us doormats unite and form a long well-paved pathway to better things.
Sorry it didn't go your way, but you'll be happy again. It doesn't seem in your nature to stay down. blackeyed
Apr 2, 2007

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