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graciebaby

you'd only laugh....

Member Since 2003

Followers 35 Following 34

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Sunday Jan 15, 2006

Jan 14, 2006
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Good lordy....

WHEN?!

When did I become such a bore?

there was a time...not long ago when my wit and sharp mind could be easily conveyed with words that spilled forth from my lips onto the pages of my journals...

I could write a story...paint a picture in peoples minds...reaching through the monitor in such a way that people could almost HEAR my voice through my words.

When I would meet people I met online...they would often tell me that i "speak how i write", that when they read my words in my journal..they could picture me speaking to them...with all the animated and wise-cracking flourish...

The oddness that is my life...the things I am lucky or sometimes notso lucky to experience are sometimes so odd, so surreal , that on occasion people wondered if I was making it all up...The fantasy that i could possibly write something worth publishing, or even write something people would want to read seems so far away at this moment...the ability to get it down has seemingly vanished, and with it...the response, the validation from people who peek into my life, into my head is diminishing as well. They are still present...they may even still peek at my world...but if they are...they are silent...and the silence is deafening! (oh! it's come to this?! I'm popping off in cliche`

I miss the ability and I miss the validation AND...I miss YOU...yes, you too!

the weirdness still exists...the moments still occur...what is gone is my ability to record them in a way that garners a REACTION.

I still FEEL witty...I beleive I AM still witty!

In the 3D, face to face conversations, I can still entertain and gather an audience...I have audible PROOF that I am witty and posses the ability to make people laugh.....unless of course the peals of laughter i hear have less to do with:

"DAYUM Gracie, STOP!! I just wet myself! you're a freaking laugh-riot!"

and more about...

"DAYUM Gracie...STOP!! I just shat myself! I'm afraid of you...when did they let you out?"


maybe the fact that I have a job, working in the world...spending less time alone in my head is having a negative impact on my ability to articulate in written form...

if it weren't for the fact that I'm enjoying, for the most part, the satisfaction of working, doing my job well and the healthy aspect of actually SPEAKING to people that have a face I can see...I'd be pondering actually QUITTING my job if only to locate and nurture my inner witty, albeit ISOLATED true self...

Sly wit is vital to me...I won't let it go without at LEAST leaving clawmarks on it...

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
tmronin:
bike is in the garage wintering...feh, 55* today and i could have rode in...global warming my ass.

how close are you to LA?

i'm headed that way in march.

btw - hi! i think you are tres witty and interesting.
smile
Jan 20, 2006
stiles:
It was a nice canyon ride. Maybe next time, eh? In the meantime, i'm looking for a safe place to stash the trailer that won't cost me my first born.
Jan 22, 2006

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