gothikai

where to begin? it's hard to know. gabriel moved out tonight. it was a somewhat mutual decision. it was weird helping him pack his things. we even argued over a pair of pants that we both wanted. isn't that stupid? at his request, i gave him part of our tax refund money. i wonder what he'll spend it on. i'm thinking pot & guitar stuff mostly. he's moving back to his parents' for now. he says he'll still help me out "as much as he can". i hope that's true. i traded him my pipe & case for a his dvd player. he took the season of family guy that he bought, leaving me the seasons 1 & 3, but not, 2. oh well. he generously gave me a replays receipt worth around $40 to go towards buying myself a ps2 (the one i've been using is my brother's). he took most of his stuff, only leaving behind a few things he forgot about, like a pizza hut bag with a binder in it. and he left me his n64, should i decide i want to play, but i doubt i will...after all the packing was done, we smoked a bowl & he played some acoustic guitar. then we hugged & he left. moments after he walked out the door, i was sobbing uncontrollably. it took me a while to calm down. i don't know what it is that makes me feel so sad. he said he'd call me later. i'm sure he will. i wonder how that will go & how it will make us both feel.

my car door is broke, the driver's side, that is. it won't open or close anymore. i will have to take it to get it fixed as soon as i can, but i don't know when that will be, due to lack of a babysitter.

my mom is having a major surgery monday. they are removing her entire reproductive system (uterus, ovaries). She will probably have to take hormone pills for a couple of months afterward. she also won't be able to babysit for at least a month, maybe. that is going to be very hard on me, doubly since gabriel won't be here to babysit either. i guess i'll be on double diaper duty again & not leaving the house much.

so much for getting my cd player installed, too. i finally set up an appointment to have it done this friday at kincaid, but then i found out that my mom has to be at the hospital for some pre-op stuff, so she can't babysit. i guess i've got bigger things to be worried about, though.

i mentioned to mom about wanting to enroll in UA this fall, but she said that wasn't likely to happen because she isn't willing to work all day & babysit all night. it's understandable, but depressing. i also mentioned that i would miss hanging out with Alisha, & she said she wouldn't be babysitting for me to go do that either.

i'm really going to miss being able to go out once a week to hang out with Alisha. i hope she doesn't stray too far away from me again. i really love her so much. she has no idea, i guess.

so, obviously won't be moving now...no beach trips for me either.

spring fucking break. goddamnit.