gothikai

More & more lately I'm getting that feeling of wanting this baby OUT of me. I'm so uncomfortable. My back & stomach seem to hurt almost constantly & walking is a seriously painful challenge due to the baby's low station. That means her head is way the hell down the birth canal pressed firmly against my bladder & making me feel intense pressure (similiar to needing to push in labor). I don't know how much longer I can take this! Of course, I have to take it for as long as it takes, but I am going insane. Sleep just isn't happening much for me anymore. Last night I finally caved in & took half a dose of sleeping pills (which my doc said were ok) & it didn't help much. So, tonight I'm taking the full dose & praying for better luck. Yeah I said praying. I've been feeling so desperate lately that I've resorted to praying a few times to ask for relief from the pain & I don't even believe in GOD. That just goes to show you how uncomfortable I really am. I hate to spend this whole blog bitching, but there's not much else going on in my life right now. I'm still waiting for the birthing pool & other supplies to arrive. They didn't come in today's mail. I am still hoping to go into labor on the 31st, but now because I'm in a bit of a rush, I fear it will be Aug. 10th or later. On the positive side of life, Gabriel & I have been getting along better than usual & last night he said to me "You know I love you, right?" It really made me feel so good to hear that. He knows that I am getting so anxious with this pregnancy & he is anxious, too. I can't wait to see how he responds to his daughter's birth. This is a happy thought for me amidst all the insanity & discomfort.