Zero Station
Gabriel insists that he isn't now nor has he ever cheated on me. So, I'm going to assume that's true for now. I do love him & I need his support.
He's working 2 jobs now, though, I don't know for how long. Yesterday was his first day & I didn't like it much that I was without him all day & night. It's going to be like that pretty much every day until he quits one of the jobs. I don't know what's more important, him making extra money or us spending time together? Actually, I do know what's more important to me. I want love & passion! Fuck money. But even before he started this 2nd job, there was a serious lack of love & passion, so where does that leave us...
I am going to my uncle's wake tonight. Wonder why they call it a wake? I'd shit if he actually woke up. Fuck.
What am I going to do now to occupy my time? No Gabriel around to beg for attention, love, & compliments. Maybe I should get an internet lover? haha.
Big sigh.
I need a car NOW! Those fucks at All-State need to get off their asses & pay for my mom's car to be fixed, so that I can get my grandparents' Lincoln. Yeah, it's a grandma car & it chugs gas, but it rides smooth & looks nice & gets me out of Gordo. Nuff said.
I want a baby shower, but I don't know if anyone is going to throw me one. It's not like I need a lot of stuff, but I want a day of attention. Is that so bad? Gah. I have NEVER felt so starved for affection & attention.
I went to the dr. yesterday. My weight was 135. I think I weighed like 145 when I was 35 wks pregnant with Katana, so yeah, I'm doing much better. The baby's heartrate was 145 beats per minute which is super. The dr. checked my cervix & it was undilated (bummer); however, the baby is a 0 station & in the correct head-down position for birthing (good sign). Katana did the same thing. Settled herself & her head directly on my bladder for the last 2 months of pregnancy. Fun fun! Every time I go to the dr. now, he'll say "how are you walking around, girl, with that baby's head so low?" I guarantee it. He said it yesterday & at every appointment I had with Katana in my 9th month. So predictable.
Gabriel's birthday is on the 21st. I don't think I'm going to get him anything else, since I already bought him a pair of sandals & 2 swimsuits for the beach trip & I told him that was his birthday present. Plus he only got me a pack of cigarettes & a pack of gum on mine...still disappointed about that.
I wonder if Ryan is going to come see Katana this week? He came last Monday & said he was coming again, but no word from him yet. I hope he does come. She likes him & I don't mind having the company out here.
Bored. bored. bored...
Gabriel insists that he isn't now nor has he ever cheated on me. So, I'm going to assume that's true for now. I do love him & I need his support.
He's working 2 jobs now, though, I don't know for how long. Yesterday was his first day & I didn't like it much that I was without him all day & night. It's going to be like that pretty much every day until he quits one of the jobs. I don't know what's more important, him making extra money or us spending time together? Actually, I do know what's more important to me. I want love & passion! Fuck money. But even before he started this 2nd job, there was a serious lack of love & passion, so where does that leave us...
I am going to my uncle's wake tonight. Wonder why they call it a wake? I'd shit if he actually woke up. Fuck.
What am I going to do now to occupy my time? No Gabriel around to beg for attention, love, & compliments. Maybe I should get an internet lover? haha.
Big sigh.
I need a car NOW! Those fucks at All-State need to get off their asses & pay for my mom's car to be fixed, so that I can get my grandparents' Lincoln. Yeah, it's a grandma car & it chugs gas, but it rides smooth & looks nice & gets me out of Gordo. Nuff said.
I want a baby shower, but I don't know if anyone is going to throw me one. It's not like I need a lot of stuff, but I want a day of attention. Is that so bad? Gah. I have NEVER felt so starved for affection & attention.
I went to the dr. yesterday. My weight was 135. I think I weighed like 145 when I was 35 wks pregnant with Katana, so yeah, I'm doing much better. The baby's heartrate was 145 beats per minute which is super. The dr. checked my cervix & it was undilated (bummer); however, the baby is a 0 station & in the correct head-down position for birthing (good sign). Katana did the same thing. Settled herself & her head directly on my bladder for the last 2 months of pregnancy. Fun fun! Every time I go to the dr. now, he'll say "how are you walking around, girl, with that baby's head so low?" I guarantee it. He said it yesterday & at every appointment I had with Katana in my 9th month. So predictable.
Gabriel's birthday is on the 21st. I don't think I'm going to get him anything else, since I already bought him a pair of sandals & 2 swimsuits for the beach trip & I told him that was his birthday present. Plus he only got me a pack of cigarettes & a pack of gum on mine...still disappointed about that.
I wonder if Ryan is going to come see Katana this week? He came last Monday & said he was coming again, but no word from him yet. I hope he does come. She likes him & I don't mind having the company out here.
Bored. bored. bored...
cunninglinquist:
take it one day at a time
papaspank:
not having your significant other around sucks....but it does sound like everything is going well for your baby on the way, which is very good news. I'm sure things will work out and you'll get what it is you're looking for...but tell me, how are you walking around, girl, with that baby's head so low?