gothikai

I have been feeling so paranoid lately. Every day & night I wonder if I will go into labor. If I were to go into labor before July 31st, I wouldn't be full term. That would be absolutely dreadful because the baby would have to go to he NICU & I would end up having to go home without her. So, worrying seems reasonable.

I didn't sleep well last night. My stomach was upset. I had some combination of indigestion & nausea + my usual peeing every 30 minutes or so...It sucked.

Gabriel woke me up around 10am to tell me he was leaving, heading to his grandfather's house to borrow a lawn mower. I don't really understand why he doesn't just go next door & borrow my dad's.

My mom pissed me off last night. We went by to pick up Katana who had been visiting for a couple of hours & she bitched me out for trying to grab a few of the diapers she had bought. I need them more than her & they have a much higher income than us, so what the fuck. It was only 5 diapers anyway. What a bitch.

And the other thing she did was to refer to Gabriel as Gabriel instead of Daddy when speaking to Katana (who only knows him as Daddy). I said something to her about it & she said something under her breath about how she's not going to call him Daddy anymore. She needs to mind her own fucking business about some things. It's my choice who Katana will call Daddy & I say that person is my husband who has been by my side taking care of her since she was 4 months old. Fuck.

Sorry I'm in rant mode right now.

So, PS, I need some new friends. The real kind. The kind I haven't had in years (except online). I need some people I can call up & say hey I'm feeling depressed today & they will come over with a funny movie or something. Whatever happened to people who were willing to be that kind of friend?

My parents are still giving me hell about the name Kagome for the baby & Gabriel doesn't want it to be anything else. So now no matter what I decide, someone is going to be pissy (probably my parents). They think I am disrespecting them by choosing a name they don't like!

I'm legally changing my name to Xiao-Mei Kai Krysiun when I get the chance, btw. If you can't say it, just keep calling me Kai.

Okay, enough for one rant.

I lied. I have to mention that at this very moment, Katana is whining & pitching a fit, saying "I need to watch Junglies". It's a little 10 minute show that comes on the BABY channel & I can't just make it come on for her. She doesn't understand that & gets very upset.