gotham2

i miss being around here. i just can't keep up.
i've moved out of the hotel and i'm living in a basement just out of downtown. it's unfinished and has grey concrete floors, but i have a wood stove to roast marshmallows on at night.
i'm struggling, trying to support the two of us on my minimum paying job. it's frustrating to work and work and to feel that in the end you still have next to nothing. but wait...it's not all dark and dreary. i enjoy my work and those around me. and all the quiet allows me time to sort out the contents of my mind.
i'm back at my family's house to celebrate my birthday. most of the day will be spent boxing up all the stuff i've left here, and arguing with my parents about why i wont come back. this town suffocates me and smothers me in the things i've done here and those things i'll never be able to do. i could barely sleep with thoughts too many to put in order.
all i would really like for my birthday is to dye my hair (it's been a beautiful shade of fading aqua blue), and for the people i love to embrace me and squeeze me so hard that i nearly break.
and perhaps to go see the bats again.
i'm almost too overwhelmed right now to think and breathe and stand up straight.
with love, Gotham.