gory

I didn't know it was easter around that time really. i was so lost i had no idea of the time. I just woke up and someone wished me a happy easter when i got home. It was weird. As for all the bs on this site. Yeah you have to sit and wonder some times what is real and what is true. I eventually gave up and just went with the flow cause it seemed funnier in some cases.

Can anyone see pics now???I changed my page...Still some pics up tho...and if you do NOT see em...I am DEFINATELY going to hit something...HARD!

I will DIE for anyone who can tell me WHAT THE FUCK IS UP!??! and if anyone says "Go look in the FAQ's" THEY...Will be the ones to DIE!

I can run a fuckin' thoudand seat thetres board...BUT I CANNOT POST ANY PICS ANYMORE????

*sigh* THIS is going to make the COFFIN JOE set REALLY difficult!

SS

[Edited on Mar 28, 2005 3:19PM]

Yes, I'm going to try and be there for sure, unless I get kidnapped, I'll be in for a gab. Um, as for the Taa fodder thing, I'm not entirely sure what I'm meant to say, I'll take a guess and assume your joking.? Did she ask you or something,I'm not one for judgements on people I don't know.

Let me know when your getting started with burning and such and fire any questions my way. BTW that's quite a list of new films your getting.Some great choices. Lemora is in my top 5 favourite horror films of all time. It's haunting, unique, scary, weird and amazing.
Hope your doing well.

Happy Easter!

Hey Sadie, I enjoyed the chat last night, sorry I was'nt more active on it but read my journal and you'll understand.

I hope you doing good my gorewhore. Loathe you

Thanks so much for the birthday wishes! That's like the best birthday card ever.

all it took was me pushing the back button... do you remember when you asked it i had any apothecary worthy emo poetry, etc...
well... i wanted to share this with you, Dark Misstress.... Let me know what you think....

i'm sorry
wait --- maybe i shouldn't apologize
these contradictory notions
mix togehter in my mind
at times like these i look into the mirror
and see a strangers eyes
all the old fears flow to the surface
and i feel so small inside
it's not because of you that i am this way
lost
searching
for grace
i wanted to tell you what i was
afraid of
when i reached out to touch
your face
but the words wouldn't come
they were stilll locked away
so i decided to try and tell you here
?maybe it would be easier this way?

i am afraid of the memories that invade
my sleep
that haunt my dreams
and make me awake
the ones where i am dead before i drown
but can still feel the water
weighing me down
where i feel a mans hands close
around my throat
and my consiousness fades like dissapating smoke,
only to awake and feel my knife,
screams muffled to silence, nothing in the night
he told me he'd cut me to pieces
while i was still alive
dissolve my fingerprints, cut off my hands
he wanted me to feel it before i died
he used to drive by the canal
playing on my greatest fear
whisper and yell that i was nothing
laugh at my tears
he told me he'd dump all the pieces
of what had once been me
into the water
in the deepof the night - food for the fish to eat
there'd be no evidence, i'd never be found
people like ME dissappeared all the time
and as much as i hate to admit it
what he said was true,
IF ONLY IN MY MIND
so you see it wasn't you -- i'm still broken
somewhere inside
as much as i try to exorcise
the demons -- they still exist in my life
i'm sorry --
i'm not the person that you'd
thought i'd be,
often i hide behind sex
so that people don't see the real me-
but you
you pushed
got behind the wall
pulled me into the light
well here i am, this is all.
i'm sorry.

i left this in dizntz journal.. as if he didnb't hate me enuff

Great to that u are back sadie, i kinda sorta missed ya.
People always tend to get weirded out when someone passes away. I think its a part of the human nature.
Its either about money or feelings. Sometimes its hard to notice the difference. Isnt it fun when long lost people suddenly appears at funerals. What are they after? ..

YAY!!!

I haven't been around much lately - oh school.
Glad to hear you're back - with a venegeance, it sounds like. I shall be quivering with antici


pation.
Ha.




Okay, I need to go to bed!...

Many thanks for the advice on the ear lobes! Don't think its anything to worry about, I just bleed a lot. I always did.

Can't say I ever went to the Guantlet. I've heard of it, but never went there. I went to New York Adorned at the advice of a few coworkers and some local folks from SG. I do have to say its a top notch place, with really great people working there. I was very impressed.

As for the piercing, I had existing holes (I'm guessing they were at a 14g because I was able to fit a 14g barbell in them a couple months back). I'm not a fan at all of dermal punches for earlobes, and I'm very patient when it comes to this sort of thing to get to the size I would like.

I had mentioned to the piercer that I would like to eventually go to about 4g (don't want anything too huge). She suggested to re-pierce them to 8g. She suggested going that large is because she said by re-piercing the existing holes it would avoid scar tissue forming when they heal. That way if I decided to take them out a few years down the road, over time they would shrink up.

I trust professionals, and she did a great job.

As for aftercare I was given the following instructions.

-- Gently rinse them in the morning and evening with this mosturizing solution they gave me.

-- If it bleeds, leave it be and just let it clot up. The reason, as per the piercer, is your body is trying to heal the wound and you trying to clean off the blood is stoping the healing process.

-- DON'T TOUCH THE PIERCINGS!

After few days they're doing pretty good. A tad bit sore and a little swollen, nothing unbearable, which is to be expected. Again the piercer I saw comes highly recomended so I trust her advice.

Anywho ...

You to give me the details on that monthly chat room meet and greet!

ooga-booga to you!

Man I haven't had a chance to sit in a spa in forever! Sounds relaxing just reading it! Fortunately this evening me and the man shall be able to procure new horror films for out collection. I can't wait to go abuse my friends video store privledges!

Sadie!

Yay, I just love your beautiful, brilliant mind.

Okay Little miss wants a life sized Vincent Price Doll.

Into splatter punk? Read Joe R. Lansdale?
Whats yer favorite horror movie/book?
What interests you about horror ?

its great to hear from you again

and the new uber computer sounds great i hope it all works out when you move back

but at the moment i have to go so till next time keep well

Hello beautiful. My have I missed you precious.
Things on my end have been extremely busy and frustreating.. I wont bore you with the details we can catch up on all that when you get back.. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Theres not alot i can say that you havent already heard but I want you to know I'm thinking about you sweetie. And hope you find peace within. When do you get back ? I will call you if you give me your new number or I can just wait until you get back home let me know whats up.. I miss you doll.

Thanks for the kind words of vouchness sweety (gasp - I used a nicety ) It's very much appreciated.

This is just a fleeting visit before I retire to the coffin for the evening but I'll pop in past tomorrow with some more worthy commentage.

It is good to hear that the Queen of cruel is back up and killing by the truck load! So you have been freezing your butt off eh? Well come to camp DAVEDOR and you can feast by the fire and be dressed in our finest firs. After we have your blood at a boil, why not paint the country side red with my horde of savage warriors! I really need the killing since last night! I saw a "speed metal" show at a club and it was like a slow torture. Every band was like a slow crapy Metalica cover band. I just want to go onto the stage with my axe and shred everyone into ribbons! Hell, I should have stayed in the car, the tape I had going was more entertaning. Well I leave you now, since my peers (the gods) are waiting outside for me. I just needed to be equaliy as bud of a heritic and reply to you on the holy day. NOW TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL I GO!

Miss Sadie,
I just wanted to tell you that I sent you a email,
I just wanted to send you a more personal message.

Hang in there!

hmm... what do I think of your new found ancestory?

It's good to know your roots - where you come from,
it can only strengthen your sense of who you are.

If you had kin who stuck around long enough to see the French Revolution it would be interesting to know what side they were on.

I know virtually nothing about my family's history, my Mom's people were from Spain and settled in California when it was still Mexican territory... after that it was all downhill. Just one misfortune after another.

My Dad's family hails from the Philippines, humble folks who barely made ends meet 'till they came to the states via Hawaii in the early 60's.

Now that I think about it, it kind of pisses me off that NO ONE ever bothered to tell me a damn thing in the way of family history. The info that trickled down to me came through eavesdropping on others' conversations. How lame.

Anyway, knowing your roots is definetly a precious possession.

I hesitate to say it's something to be proud of, the way I see it, the only thing you can be proud of is whatever the flip you've built from scratch in your own life...

Hey, hope you got my email ok and that your ok.

er,I suppose I should try and answer these things.

Greed- eating rainbows so no one else can enjoy them
Gluttony- twin sister oral
Envy- AHEM-I think he'd find HE was jealous of my Evil,thank you very much!
Sloth: No, crazy middle for me.
Lust: Mindy Clark-ROTLD 3
Pride:assault with a deadly mp3
Wrath: The 4 foot spines that emerge from my back can unfortunately cause damage to bystanders some times.

Hey,

Just wanted to say how sorry I am. I know you are going through some things right now, just know i'm here if you wanna talk.