goontastic

It's cold and rainy and I have a headache. I've been sad for the last couple of days. Not depressed, not waaaaahhhhh sad, just plain, old dictionary-definition sad. Instead of working, I've been trying to figure out why.

I'm lonely.

Being alone is one thing. I'm frequently alone and I love it. I seek it out. Being alone frequently doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I recently (well, in March) ended an 8 year relationship. She was a beautiful, intelligent, classy girl and there are times when I miss her so much that it hurts, but I chose to end the relationship because my feelings for her had changed. Not because of anything she did or did not do, but because I couldn't ignore feelings that I had developed for another person. I didn't think it was fair to my ex to lead her on, or to pretend like nothing was wrong, so we talked it through and agreed to end the relationship amicably. She's since moved on and found a great guy that she is crazy about, and I am happy for her.

The other girl, the one I had developed feelings for, ended up being a huge flake. Oh well.

I've been seeing a new girl for the last 5 months. She is brilliantly funny, and sexy, and I feel like we click in a way I didn't think people could click. I adore her and I would do anything for her.

But I'm not happy and I sometimes I wish I had a time machine.

I'd hoped to lighten this post by posting a picture of a dog eating its own poop or something, but I couldn't find one.