googismcfloogal

so time for the next step in my life. where everything comes together to prepare itself for the real deal, the big show. idk this song gets me pumped, i feel like i am almost a year ago where things were going smoothly before school started again, and then i went through hell. for almost a year. but that fire is back within me, that same feeling i have everytime i pick myself up again and again. i know exactly what i have to do and how to go about doing it. i dont mean this to be an omg deeep and emotional "look at my life and feel what i feel look at me im a fucking intellectual" blog, its just that i am at a pivotal point in my life right now. i have decided what i want with life and how i am going to go about doing it. and it feels weird. its a new feeling. (on a completely different and weird note, i write to express myself, in order to understand myself, i wouldnt have really realized this if i werent writing it right now. then why post to you? to help understand why i havent been here or how i have been i guess...) its a feeling of relief and confidence and it feels like im structured in a way. taking control of my life and everything in it. thats what it is. control. i am in control for the first time in three years...

didnt meant to get all deep and meaningful, but if someone reads this and it helps them understand themself even in the slightest of ways, then this is useful. but at the same time its me babbling about myself... AHA!