goodcore

I always wonder if the things that bother me about other people, I do myself. That doubt screws with my opinion of things and I think weakens those opinions, at times. Its annoying. I feel like I can get in my own head too much. But then I argue, with myself mind you, that I'd rather be too much in my head than too little. That's my argument for most anything I do that needs balance. I'd rather over do it a little bit than under-do it.

People say first impressions are meaningful. I do not know how much I agree. I mean, aren't first impressions total rubbish based on a single night, hour, minute? Do you really have a good idea of a person based on that amount of time? I suppose they are important and not meaningful if that makes sense. Important because perception is the only thing that matters. Therefore, if you make a good first impressions it lingers and can buy you more time. Whereas, if your first impression sucks you're constantly battling against it. Either way though, they're rubbish and totally based on someone being judgemental.

Lastly, I do not think I'll ever do the bar hopping singles thing. I and a friend were approached by a pair of women. They hung around us for the better part of a couple hours shooting the shit. Ended up buying them some food, which I feel stupid and annoyed at myself about, and having a completely mind-numbing conversation. I wonder if that's because I was so above their level or below it. Seems like either way, it would manifest itself the same way.

Everyone thinks I have my shit figured out, I really wish they were right.

The White Octave's Style No. 6312 has to be one of the best albums I've ever heard. I listen to it a lot. You should too. Its going out of print. So here are some of the lyrics from the songs on the album that I just adore:

but i'm protected by a thousand layers of built-up skin. designed to protect what you've destroyed within

don't tell me i shrug my shoulders. even atlas lost his balance

under stars. i watch the sky. as night consumes the daylight. and i recall the sweetest dreams. but red wine helps them fade. here's to another glass. i need it to displace. the emptiness i cannot swallow. i tried to cleanse these guilty hands. but the stains they won't leave. i tried to rush to your defense.

my eyes complain. my mouth stays shut. i leave you in your bed. i pulled your teeth. to hear the truth. the truth is it still kills me to this day.

today i feel about okay. i wait for these nights to come to an end. so i can feel at home.

if i could split my heart in two. i'd give the beating half to you. if these words never rise above us. i swear i'd slit my wrists for you. if life becomes so cold and dim. that to breathe is to live. then i'll breathe for you. but i won't repent. i won't repent for what i did to make this break. here's to another glass. i need it to replace the emptiness. i cannot take away

at times it's best not to think in words. but this is not a subsistence existence. those who grow alone give up

in the rain. i see your makeup. slowly dissolving on your cheek. in a way. you're like a circle. constant and closed off from me. it's time that i wrote this song. it's about you. i surrender to you. in the wake of the conversation. i'm devoted to you. i surrender to you. and i claim this to be the first day. i can wake up without you in my head. so we play songs of disaster. but the tone of the music will change. it's time that i wrote this song. it's about you. i surrender to you. in the wake of conversations. i'm devoted to you. i surrender to you. i lost you. i lost you. i lost you dear

That's all. Funny, that's almost all the songs on the album. Yeah they're not happy but whatever. I don't know how to do happy sometimes. Bug off, no one does.