You know what bothers me?
Less that a year ago, this was me:
http://suicidegirls.com/media/members/8/04/96048/22359/471257.JPG
Isn't that nice?
A month ago, this was me:
http://suicidegirls.com/media/members/6/08/91086/53225/614845.JPG
That's a difference of 10 lbs.
But imagine 5 more lbs on top of that... and that's me now. 15 lbs back in less than a year! I don't have any pictures to show you. It's still 25 lbs less than I was 2 years ago, but that's not good enough. I don't want to gain it all back like everyone does. Fuck that. I refuse to be fat.
The sad thing is, I don't think I'm doing anything terribly unhealthy that should cause me to gain so much weight. I don't eat crap and I am fairly active. I'm not super-workout girl, but I don't sit and watch TV all day either. So why does my body just want to be padded and jiggly and heavy? It's funny when you start to gain weight and you can feel the extra folds growing. It's kind of like I've put on an extra sweater that I can't take off. Or one of those puffy coats. There's all this More of me.
I've put myself back on Diet Goob. Drinking lots of water, not eating cheese, eating maller meals. But you know, dieting can be expensive. I spent all my money on the Alaska trip. I'm dangerously broke. One credit card is $0.95 under the limit (whew!) and the other is a little over (oops). I have $30.00 in my checking account and about 2/3 of the month's rent that is due on the 15th. I mailed my bills this morning, so I feel okay about that. I have enough days of work scheduled so I think I can cover rent and gas for this month, plus a little extra. But school starts in a few weeks and of course I'll need books. Damn.
See, I knew I had something to rant about. I'm not unhappy. In fact, life is really good right now. I am in a great mood nearly all the time. But there are still all these worries.
I'm listening to this right now. I love this damn album. Wow, do I love it.
Oh, I got my hair cut yesterday. And I dyed it. It's very red now, similar to last year. I like it. But the chick cut it uneven.
I'm trying to decide whether to go back, or to just make a friend cut it evenly.
Who's got a good eye for symmetry?
Hmmm what else. Ever see my profile on Myspace? My user pic was this:
for a while, then I turned it upside down for giggles. Recently it was this:
but I changed it back to the snorkel one because Aperion said he liked it. By the way, before you go requesting friendship there, be warned that I ONLY accept people I know in person. I'm very strict. And I can be cruel. 
My website got deleted. I'm pissed, because I just upgraded it. Apparantly there was something on the site that was "abuse" but they won't tell me what. The funny thing is, all the ass-signing and painted boob pics weren't on that site. So now all my stuff is gone gone gone, and I don't know why.
Eventually I'll have a new site up. Right now I can't afford to pay someone for the space, especially if shit like this is gonna happen. I knew the risks when I signed up for this one, and it was just for practice really, but it sucks that all the work I put into it just disappeared. It was a great learning experience though, so when I actually do make a real website, I can make it better.
I should gather what's left of the satellite sites and turn http://goob2.20megsfree.com into the primary site for the time being. It's just disheartening to have all my work disappear unretrievably.
Meh. Live and learn.
Less that a year ago, this was me:
http://suicidegirls.com/media/members/8/04/96048/22359/471257.JPG
Isn't that nice?
A month ago, this was me:
http://suicidegirls.com/media/members/6/08/91086/53225/614845.JPG
That's a difference of 10 lbs.
But imagine 5 more lbs on top of that... and that's me now. 15 lbs back in less than a year! I don't have any pictures to show you. It's still 25 lbs less than I was 2 years ago, but that's not good enough. I don't want to gain it all back like everyone does. Fuck that. I refuse to be fat.
The sad thing is, I don't think I'm doing anything terribly unhealthy that should cause me to gain so much weight. I don't eat crap and I am fairly active. I'm not super-workout girl, but I don't sit and watch TV all day either. So why does my body just want to be padded and jiggly and heavy? It's funny when you start to gain weight and you can feel the extra folds growing. It's kind of like I've put on an extra sweater that I can't take off. Or one of those puffy coats. There's all this More of me.
I've put myself back on Diet Goob. Drinking lots of water, not eating cheese, eating maller meals. But you know, dieting can be expensive. I spent all my money on the Alaska trip. I'm dangerously broke. One credit card is $0.95 under the limit (whew!) and the other is a little over (oops). I have $30.00 in my checking account and about 2/3 of the month's rent that is due on the 15th. I mailed my bills this morning, so I feel okay about that. I have enough days of work scheduled so I think I can cover rent and gas for this month, plus a little extra. But school starts in a few weeks and of course I'll need books. Damn.
See, I knew I had something to rant about. I'm not unhappy. In fact, life is really good right now. I am in a great mood nearly all the time. But there are still all these worries.
I'm listening to this right now. I love this damn album. Wow, do I love it.
Oh, I got my hair cut yesterday. And I dyed it. It's very red now, similar to last year. I like it. But the chick cut it uneven.
I'm trying to decide whether to go back, or to just make a friend cut it evenly.
Who's got a good eye for symmetry?
Hmmm what else. Ever see my profile on Myspace? My user pic was this:
for a while, then I turned it upside down for giggles. Recently it was this:
but I changed it back to the snorkel one because Aperion said he liked it. By the way, before you go requesting friendship there, be warned that I ONLY accept people I know in person. I'm very strict. And I can be cruel.
My website got deleted. I'm pissed, because I just upgraded it. Apparantly there was something on the site that was "abuse" but they won't tell me what. The funny thing is, all the ass-signing and painted boob pics weren't on that site. So now all my stuff is gone gone gone, and I don't know why.
Eventually I'll have a new site up. Right now I can't afford to pay someone for the space, especially if shit like this is gonna happen. I knew the risks when I signed up for this one, and it was just for practice really, but it sucks that all the work I put into it just disappeared. It was a great learning experience though, so when I actually do make a real website, I can make it better.
I should gather what's left of the satellite sites and turn http://goob2.20megsfree.com into the primary site for the time being. It's just disheartening to have all my work disappear unretrievably.
Meh. Live and learn.
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How is the relationship with the boy going? We haven't talked in a while.