goob

I hate the dryness of the air in my apartment. It gives me a headache and my brain doesn't work.

I updated my website again. I posted all the pics from Wes's Party.

Below is personal whiney crap:

I am feeling a bit down right now.

A. Overwhelmed by the hardships of car-less-ness.
. . . . . 1) biking makes me tired
. . . . . 2) walking makes my feet hurt
. . . . . 3) it takes longer to get anywhere
. . . . . . . . a. have to get up earlier
. . . . . . . . b. less time to clean, do schoolwork, check email, etc.
. . . . . . . . c. can't get everywhere i need to in a day
. . . . . 4) i have to rely on others to drive me
. . . . . . . . a. makes me feel like a burden
. . . . . . . . b. i can't come and go when i want to / need to
. . . . . . . . c. asking around, calling around, and begging sucks

B. Frustrated by the responsibilties required of a full-time college student.
. . . . . 1) assignments due soon
. . . . . . . . a. collect and compare narrative stories for folklore class
. . . . . . . . b. prepare pro-war debate in spanish (yes, pro-war; yes, in spanish)
. . . . . 2) chapters and chapters to read for all classes
. . . . . 3) two tests tomorrow, one monday, and an oral test tuesday
. . . . . 4) need to plan next semester, next year, future in general

C. Lonely again, wishing I could have a Somebody.
. . . . . 1) sleeping alone most nights
. . . . . . . . a. sleeping innocently with friends is not enough
. . . . . . . . b. sleeping around is not healthy
. . . . . 2) waking up wanting sex and not getting it
. . . . . . . . a. fantasies are of people i can't be with
. . . . . . . . b. risk of carpal tunnel
. . . . . 3) needing a hug or a word or a smile, or any expression of love
. . . . . . . . a. last functional relationship ended nearly four years ago
. . . . . . . . b. most attempts since have not been about love
. . . . . . . . c. the ones that i loved hurt me and scared me away from love
. . . . . . . . d. extremely rare to find someone who can love me
. . . . . . . . e. extremely rare to find someone who i can love
. . . . . 4) knowing it's not likely to happen anytime soon
. . . . . 5) feeling guilty for subjecting others to my whining


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Somehow, I really enjoyed making that list.

The last point is very true- Don't mind my whining. This is my venting space, after all... but Goob is supposed to be cheerful all the time and fun to be around. It's hard work, you know.

Okay, time to go read and study and not go to the bar where all the fun people are.