I just can't leave well enough alone. 
I don't think this is recoverable. I think it's best if I walk away now and don't turn back because if I stick around I'm going to be hurt. Hell, I'm already hurt. Which is why I don't want to walk away. The problem is, what started all this was my fear of being walked away from, and so to solve that I will walk away? That doesn't seem to make sense.
When he asks, "What do you want?" it's impossible to answer when the wrong answer will make him say, "I can't provide that," and then he's gone. I'm scared to say anything anymore because it will be the wrong answer. And then I'll be stuck alone again.
I dreamed I was pregnant. Al was in the dream, and she was the father... or something like that. It was bizarre.
Maybe what I'm looking for is stability? I like having someone there for me that I know will be there when I need them. I miss my Holly most of all. So I get stuck trying to make others fill her space and they can't.
Oh god. That means I get to spend all day today depressed and miserable. I want to throw up. There's nobody left. I wish I had to work today.
I don't think this is recoverable. I think it's best if I walk away now and don't turn back because if I stick around I'm going to be hurt. Hell, I'm already hurt. Which is why I don't want to walk away. The problem is, what started all this was my fear of being walked away from, and so to solve that I will walk away? That doesn't seem to make sense.
When he asks, "What do you want?" it's impossible to answer when the wrong answer will make him say, "I can't provide that," and then he's gone. I'm scared to say anything anymore because it will be the wrong answer. And then I'll be stuck alone again.
I dreamed I was pregnant. Al was in the dream, and she was the father... or something like that. It was bizarre.
Maybe what I'm looking for is stability? I like having someone there for me that I know will be there when I need them. I miss my Holly most of all. So I get stuck trying to make others fill her space and they can't.
Oh god. That means I get to spend all day today depressed and miserable. I want to throw up. There's nobody left. I wish I had to work today.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
we all have our ways of protecting ourselves and trying to be comfortable. dont beat yourself up or question it. do what feels natural.
Whatever is happening to you, it seems a difficult thing. You can't always avoid difficult choices, but sometimes you might have to or you should...
my advise is slight, but feel better anyways, okay?