gonzoe

an excerpt from chapter one the new book i'm working, A Kind of Drug -

"So," I begin. Then I pause, briefly. Partly for dramatic effect. Partly because I don't want to hear his answer. "Did you find anyone?"
"None. Sober or otherwise."
I can't decide if it's good news or bad. Even after all this time, it still feels like a backhanded compliment. Like when someone tells you you're so funny, it doesn't matter that you aren't all that attractive. Should I be happy? Or should I give them an elbow in the jaw?
That's how I've felt for a week now.
And for a moment, I think of Vanessa. I imagine her walking through the door, sitting on my lap, and kissing me on the forehead. "Ben," she whispers lovingly. "Let's go to the park."
"I'd love to," I say out loud.
"Come again?" Jimmy asks as he turns his head.
"Nevermind. Daydreaming again."
The water begins to boil. Jimmy stands up and turns off the stove. He picks the pot up and walks over to the table. He pours some water into each coffee cup and puts the metal pot directly onto the polished, wooden breakfast table.
Shit, that's gonna burn the table, I think reflexively. Then I realize it doesn't make a difference and reach over for the instant coffee.
"Tell me it's gonna get better, Jimmy," I say.
"It's gonna get better, Ben," Jimmy tells me.
I still don't believe him.


all this and more coming to Wednesday's this Fall onNBC.