sometimes i think my life is relatively normal. then i stop and think for a moment.......
on the fourth of july, i went to one barbecue with some friends at 2pm and hung out and ate some lovely burgers and mac and cheese. aroudn 8pm, i met up with my SG pals armyofrobots, MotherTeresa, Wysh, and a few others. we went to these people's house who they had apparently met a few days before. they threw a barbecue in their honor on that previous sunday. so i get there and these people suck. a lot. but they kept cooking us food like french fries (from scratch) and burgers and what not. one girl changed her outfit 3 times in less than an hour. no lie. it was abnormal. so after about an hour, i stole some of their bottle rockets and we left and went to another barbecue. at this one, i proceed to get drunk and light off roman candles as i point them in bad directions. so i stop and drink some more. around midnight we go to MT's apartment pool and go swimming in the rather cold water.
the next night, i experience the two dumbest sisters alive. i mean DUMB. i met one of them, this girl Sierra, when she messaged me on myspace. she's only been 18 for a month, but is 5 months pregnant. she's a habitual liar and claims the father is a professional football player or basketball player or something. this whole pregnancy problem doesn't stop her from drinking and smoking though. at one point her sister, Autumn, said she didn't want her drinking while she was pregnant cause it was bad for the baby. five minutes later they go outside and have a cigarette. oh, and Autumn has one fake leg. and talks with a lisp. so after watching them dumb around for a couple hours, we go to this club downtown that's fucking mindblowingly horrible. i stay there for about an hour and then, oops, i ditch them and go meet my posse at ibar. after haning there, drinking more, and apparently throwing around tables in the upstairs area at Gino's Pizza (i blacked out), i go back to the shitty club cause i have to drive captain preggy pants home. i end up falling asleep on her sister's couch.
the next night is katie_boop's going away party since she and her husbnad moved to texas. i get there at 11 to find rebel_rebel, wysh, and many, many of katie's suck friends from high school. wysh observes that one guy and one girl are flirty and kind of touching and hanging on each other. wysh suggests destroying their relationship. i say "consider it done". an hour later, they get in a fight and he pushes her down and speeds off dramatically in his car. an hour after that, she's dancing on a stripper pole in her bra and underwear. mission accomplished. later she passes out drunk in a back room and i go to bed happy knowing i'm still terrific.
god only knows what lay in my future.
on the fourth of july, i went to one barbecue with some friends at 2pm and hung out and ate some lovely burgers and mac and cheese. aroudn 8pm, i met up with my SG pals armyofrobots, MotherTeresa, Wysh, and a few others. we went to these people's house who they had apparently met a few days before. they threw a barbecue in their honor on that previous sunday. so i get there and these people suck. a lot. but they kept cooking us food like french fries (from scratch) and burgers and what not. one girl changed her outfit 3 times in less than an hour. no lie. it was abnormal. so after about an hour, i stole some of their bottle rockets and we left and went to another barbecue. at this one, i proceed to get drunk and light off roman candles as i point them in bad directions. so i stop and drink some more. around midnight we go to MT's apartment pool and go swimming in the rather cold water.
the next night, i experience the two dumbest sisters alive. i mean DUMB. i met one of them, this girl Sierra, when she messaged me on myspace. she's only been 18 for a month, but is 5 months pregnant. she's a habitual liar and claims the father is a professional football player or basketball player or something. this whole pregnancy problem doesn't stop her from drinking and smoking though. at one point her sister, Autumn, said she didn't want her drinking while she was pregnant cause it was bad for the baby. five minutes later they go outside and have a cigarette. oh, and Autumn has one fake leg. and talks with a lisp. so after watching them dumb around for a couple hours, we go to this club downtown that's fucking mindblowingly horrible. i stay there for about an hour and then, oops, i ditch them and go meet my posse at ibar. after haning there, drinking more, and apparently throwing around tables in the upstairs area at Gino's Pizza (i blacked out), i go back to the shitty club cause i have to drive captain preggy pants home. i end up falling asleep on her sister's couch.
the next night is katie_boop's going away party since she and her husbnad moved to texas. i get there at 11 to find rebel_rebel, wysh, and many, many of katie's suck friends from high school. wysh observes that one guy and one girl are flirty and kind of touching and hanging on each other. wysh suggests destroying their relationship. i say "consider it done". an hour later, they get in a fight and he pushes her down and speeds off dramatically in his car. an hour after that, she's dancing on a stripper pole in her bra and underwear. mission accomplished. later she passes out drunk in a back room and i go to bed happy knowing i'm still terrific.
god only knows what lay in my future.
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