gonzoe

first of all, in recent comments, i have been called a dork and a goof ass. let it be known that i am neither of these things, for i am a chicken wing.

second of all, any comments i have previously made about myself being a chicken wing are now null and void and not upholdable in a court of law. the plaintiff (chicken wing)...
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i just discovered the greatest thing today at work.

this thing is.....

how to play the melody to funky town on your telephone!

5-5-4-5-1-1-5-9-6-5

tell the world.

it must be known.

this is really fucking creepy:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3701347648

and tomorrow is friday the 13th. in light of that, a song, if you will:

i feel pretty
oh so pretty
i feel pretty and witty and gaaaaaaay

wait, i don't feel gay. and honestly, i don't feel too pretty either.

why the fuck am i singing that song?

oh, and heres everybodys vocab word of the day:

merkin...
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i like olives.

attempting to read a 200 page book this weekend. the book is owned by a friend of mine at work, is 30 years old, and is not in the greatest shape. i personally would like to have it in my possesion for as short of a time span as possible. hence, the speed reading.

oh, and my main profile pic is a lie. my hair...
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so i haven't updated in forever. why? cause i'm a prick and i can do these things. and cause i've worked 21 hours in the last 2 days alone and, well, i get pretty fucking tired.

even though i just send emails to china all day and call them stupid.

so my fingers get tired which makes me tired.

or something.

shut up.

oh, and...
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i just heard the band Thursday for the first time today. i almost shot myself.

i really dont know what to write about. nothing of interest is really going on. i could complain about a few things, but i'm deathly afraid of anything that may confuse me with someone who practices the pagan rituals of emo. may all their buddy holly glasses break and they be beaten with their own 14 pound belt buckles. fucking nerds.

more piercings. ears in pain. can barely use phone. must type in broken sentences.

new pics of pierced ear and tattoo in wonderful world of gonzoe picture land. its fun for the whole family. only i'm lying.

we got vibrating, banana shaped dildo's at work in the other day. i get to keep one since i helped develop it. sometimes, just sometimes, my job has...
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got at new tattoo today. it is ouchie now. if you wanna know what it looks like, go here:

http://www.cafeshops.com/drgonzo

it's the main logo on the site. i havent had time to take and post pics yet, but i will one of these days. as soon as the little blue midgets stop hitting me with fish.

why, oh why, do they hit me with fish?...
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i want a hippopotamus for chrismas.
only a hippopotamus will do.
no crocodiles.
or rhinocerouses.
i only want hippopotamuses.
and hippopotamuses want me too.

that song was written by midgets on ecstacy. it's the only possibile explanation.

so last night the real world was on. this show really sucks. and while watching it, i was fortunate enough to have a spoon in my hand. and...
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