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godess_akasha

Los Angeles

Member Since 2004

Followers 247 Following 221

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Sunday Jan 08, 2006

Jan 7, 2006
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Tonight I realized that for the first time in about 5 years I am really alone. 5 years ago or perhaps 6 I lived with Jon #1 that lasted just shy of 2 years when I moved out with Jon #1 to be with JoHn #2 and though we'd been broken up almost a year when I met my current ex it was like it was continuous because we remained good friends and would go hang out a lot (like everytime I had some time off) and I remain friends with him now but during the 7 months I dated my most recent ex he moved to Indiana.
So on the one hand it's nice to have some time to myself and actually do whatever I want for the first time perhaps in the 9 years I've been at my current job I can do whatever I want tomorrow. My laundry's done and I finished the house chores that would other wise be nagging me tonight (Yes, tonight, Saturday night, I cleaned the house and went grocery shopping) perhaps I shouldn't be on Suicide Girls I should be on some premature grandma website. On the other it sucks not to have someone to go out and enjoy it with.
Friends you say, what are those? I've finally learned that my coworkers are not my friends. I've got other friends but they'll be working or doing their own thing. I may go to Disneyland by myself (Sorry, Erikawithak, it is probably implied that we would go together since we bought season passes together but, what I am supposed to do while you're at your "surprise party"?)
My other option is to go to the MOCA and see the masters of comics exibit or go see some free movies like King Kong. Often when faced with too many options I just sleep in really late to avoid making decisions.
Have I mentioned that I'm pretty sure guys are the devil? Yet here I sit drinking beer (I don't drink beer) because it's the kind we drank together Negra Modelo my god you were hot that should've been my first tip off that a guy like you wouldn't want me but I fell into your trap anyway and I feel stupid for it.
I hate when other people make me feel stupid. mad but it managed to happen 2 - 4 x's during '05.
Oh well hopefully this year will be much better tongue

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