Ya know that feeling? That oxygen surging through your veins feeling? When I was a freshie I felt that way about black people. I am there again, but with no racial motivation. I want to put my boots and braces on again and fuck some serious shit up. I want to destroy so much. But it is just because my wife wants my kid out of here, and I cant argue with her. I want to shell these streets with the iron and steel that are my fists. I feel myself going back to the past, to the skin skin mentality and all the bullshit that comes with it. I can even smell my vocabulary starting to suffer. This is really weird. It is scary. I cannot believe that this is what I was for so long. 
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
there just ISN'T a neighbourhood. there arn't really neighbours. there IS, however, a park full of drug dealers, pimps and prostitues, literally, not people who look like they may be drug dealers, pimps and prostitutes, they are. i have seen them IN ACTION while my baby played in the sun on the grass.
there is another grassy area full of big thorny seed pods from the liquid ambers where the homeless folk hang out. they're ok. pretty cool, don't bother me it's mostly the seed pods there...oh and the scary ass shit i find in the grass.
there is the marina and Mare Island covered in toxic waste and all sorts of nastyness to the point that anyone living this close to it has to sign a waiver. we signed it because we had no place to live.
Our apartment is small, there are people who bother me on my walks, there are crazy old women who ask me if my baby is breathing, there are crazy young women who think it's ok to touch her.
And then there are the guys who do drug drops in our planters outside our building and tell my husband they are going to kill him.
would you like to live here?
i hate the concrete more than anything. i hate that the trees cry out to me because their roots are choked in asphalt, their soil is inadiquite...they scream and try to cut their way out and the city just repaves or lets the sidewalk rot in their bent up forms, causing biking accidents and skinned knees.
i hate it here because i can feel it all rotting...i can feel the decay and the suffering...the lifeforms just taking from the earth and not giving back.
i hate this town because no one works here, as in, there are no jobs here, there is no industry here, it is a bedroom community people commute, and therefore the economy here sucks.
there are no businesses, really, there are a few hair salons, a tortilla factory, an egyptian art store, antique dealers, a post office, a few banks and very little else.
this place reeks of death and i want out.
it has nothing to do with race.
i just want some fucking trees.
anyway if vallejo feel into a big hole in the ground i dont think anyone would miss it....if u guys can aford to get the fuck up out of here more poweer to ya i have been tryin for years