ok heh that was a really short haitus cause i have a funny/amusing/fucking horribly annoying story to tell.
so i was all depressed and upset and stuff whatever and i slept for 24 hours sat to sun. i woke up at around 6pm sunday evening and decided to just stay up which i did. of course i was out of coffee. so at around 6:30 am i went to go get some, fine fine all is dandy, and on the way back i had to stop in the middle of a large hill to make a left turn onto my street. which i do all the time. but this time - WHOOPS! A FUCKING SEMI REAR-ENDS ME.
my poor little marie. pieces of tail light all over the road and the smashy sound still reverberating in the air. luckily, it was a lot better than it could have been. it had been raining all sunday, so the roads were still soaking wet, and the driver of the semi saw me in time to slam on his breaks but just barely managed to skid into my car. so he hit me at a slow speed, prob 5mph or less,but there was a fuckload of force behind it. so bye bye right tail light, hello new big dent, oops the bumper decides to hug the ground a little more.
anyways the guy was really nice and i was very unstressed about it - i mean, it's a fucking tail light, whatever. so we exchange insurance info, decide not to go through insurance, and i tell him i'll go get a few estimates and let him know what they are.
the first place i go to gives me an estimate of 1532.52. i mean, holy fuck!! i had been expecting like 400 or so. the fucking tax alone comes to 115.
the other place i go to gives me an estimate of 1300.37. i look at the bills and figure out that the main difference is that the first place wanted to replace my entire bumper, which a) is not necessary, and b) would suck my butt since it would mean i'd lose all my stickers. so anyways i tell trucker dude (levi) and he goes out and buys a fresh supply of "oops i crapped my pants" we still decide not to go through insurance though cause it would fuck things up more for both of us - him being a trucker and me being under 21. blah blah blah, including me driving fucking to and from a town half an hour away 2 times - 1st for an estimate, 2nd to meet this guy to get the check, and FINALLY i think we're done. he hands me the check . . . and this pamphlet. "living waters for thirsty souls" i'm thinking "what is this, some kind of nature thing? is it cause of the 'brake for wildlife' sticker on the back of my car?" he says "you know, i think you and i were brought together for a reason" i'm still drawing a blank. then
BAM
JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS BLAH BLAH BLAH MESSIAH BLAH BLAH SOUL HOLY SPIRIT BLAH BLAH for like 20 fucking minutes!!! and i tell this man i'm jewish, and he's like "well then you know about jesus but you need to remember he's the SAVIOR GOD'S SON BLAH BLAH BLAH" like total disrespect for whatever jewish beliefs i might have had, which fortunately are none. but i was polite and nodded and smiled cause i was holding a check from him for me for 1300.37 in my hand. finally left. had not slept in 24 hours. vicious vicious cycle.
finished up the day by:
a) depositing monies!!!
b) making a total ghetto "legal" light cover. one of the bulbs, the bake light/tail light was busted so i removed that, and i removed a second one which was working, leaving only the blinker. (i still have another tail light on that side, yummy subarus). so i covered the remaining blinker tail light and entire light fixture with yellow legal paper followed by saran wrap and touched up with duct tape. my car looks so evil. it looks like it wants to run over you and eat you. like evil evil herby. the hate bug.
c) listening to 2 1/2 hours of lecture on transexuals, transgendered people, and descriptions of surgeries involving chopping off penises and elongating clits. get this - some of the clits turned penises FALL OFF. the tissue dies and whoops! your penis is suddenly detatchable. dear god.
ok fat mewly kitten is being horribly annoying. must give him attention now. *muah* everyone who's been lovely to me.
so i was all depressed and upset and stuff whatever and i slept for 24 hours sat to sun. i woke up at around 6pm sunday evening and decided to just stay up which i did. of course i was out of coffee. so at around 6:30 am i went to go get some, fine fine all is dandy, and on the way back i had to stop in the middle of a large hill to make a left turn onto my street. which i do all the time. but this time - WHOOPS! A FUCKING SEMI REAR-ENDS ME.
my poor little marie. pieces of tail light all over the road and the smashy sound still reverberating in the air. luckily, it was a lot better than it could have been. it had been raining all sunday, so the roads were still soaking wet, and the driver of the semi saw me in time to slam on his breaks but just barely managed to skid into my car. so he hit me at a slow speed, prob 5mph or less,but there was a fuckload of force behind it. so bye bye right tail light, hello new big dent, oops the bumper decides to hug the ground a little more.
anyways the guy was really nice and i was very unstressed about it - i mean, it's a fucking tail light, whatever. so we exchange insurance info, decide not to go through insurance, and i tell him i'll go get a few estimates and let him know what they are.
the first place i go to gives me an estimate of 1532.52. i mean, holy fuck!! i had been expecting like 400 or so. the fucking tax alone comes to 115.
the other place i go to gives me an estimate of 1300.37. i look at the bills and figure out that the main difference is that the first place wanted to replace my entire bumper, which a) is not necessary, and b) would suck my butt since it would mean i'd lose all my stickers. so anyways i tell trucker dude (levi) and he goes out and buys a fresh supply of "oops i crapped my pants" we still decide not to go through insurance though cause it would fuck things up more for both of us - him being a trucker and me being under 21. blah blah blah, including me driving fucking to and from a town half an hour away 2 times - 1st for an estimate, 2nd to meet this guy to get the check, and FINALLY i think we're done. he hands me the check . . . and this pamphlet. "living waters for thirsty souls" i'm thinking "what is this, some kind of nature thing? is it cause of the 'brake for wildlife' sticker on the back of my car?" he says "you know, i think you and i were brought together for a reason" i'm still drawing a blank. then
BAM
JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS BLAH BLAH BLAH MESSIAH BLAH BLAH SOUL HOLY SPIRIT BLAH BLAH for like 20 fucking minutes!!! and i tell this man i'm jewish, and he's like "well then you know about jesus but you need to remember he's the SAVIOR GOD'S SON BLAH BLAH BLAH" like total disrespect for whatever jewish beliefs i might have had, which fortunately are none. but i was polite and nodded and smiled cause i was holding a check from him for me for 1300.37 in my hand. finally left. had not slept in 24 hours. vicious vicious cycle.
finished up the day by:
a) depositing monies!!!
b) making a total ghetto "legal" light cover. one of the bulbs, the bake light/tail light was busted so i removed that, and i removed a second one which was working, leaving only the blinker. (i still have another tail light on that side, yummy subarus). so i covered the remaining blinker tail light and entire light fixture with yellow legal paper followed by saran wrap and touched up with duct tape. my car looks so evil. it looks like it wants to run over you and eat you. like evil evil herby. the hate bug.
c) listening to 2 1/2 hours of lecture on transexuals, transgendered people, and descriptions of surgeries involving chopping off penises and elongating clits. get this - some of the clits turned penises FALL OFF. the tissue dies and whoops! your penis is suddenly detatchable. dear god.
ok fat mewly kitten is being horribly annoying. must give him attention now. *muah* everyone who's been lovely to me.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
i really didn't wanna 'take charge' of anything. i just put forth some suggestions, that noone seemed to disagree with... and c'mon-- EVERYONE knows that you are really the brains behind this operation...