Its my friend's birthday tonight. I may catch a spare seat to Fremont to enjoy music and a night of woohoo entertainment. Then again I realize I have court in the morning. IXNAY on the ARTYPAY! I don't want to party tonight anyways. I've had this strange empowering dichotomy run through my life. When I'm faced with two options I ask myself: enlightenment or power?
Example.... I want to drink, take the bus, and go dancing: Will this give me power or enlighten me. I've done this so many times in the past. Its kind of old. I don't think I can get enlightenment from it, especially when I vaguely remember the night anyways. Or Power? I think it would be power because I create the idea that HELL YA! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!
Another: I want to write a poem but I think I should spend the time handling some reading. Enlightenment: When one feels the urge to be creative, I feel that they should follow that because it can sometimes be sporadic. I feel that I personally have an issue with trying to be creative. I can more easily try to be productive and be successful. But creativity is a flow, and when it comes, it must be addressed primarily! Power? It would only be power if I was trying to take charge of the will to be creative. I think it is more of a leading feeling that surmounts. Inductive... yup. I think creativity must be in the periphery to be harnessed. While productivity is accomplished after certain tasks have been completed.
*I need to stop going to Graduate Thesis Presentations* They are making my mind into JELLY.
Anyways... its a good psychological reflexion tool. Am I doing this for the purpose of enlightenment? or for the purpose of power? And I'm sure it doesn't just fit into those two... but they are accessible to define for me.
But its so windy that all I really want to do is soak my feet in hot water and cayenne and drink a Mexican hot chocolate. I may just avoid that first bit and get my butt down to the local Chocalatiere for some yumness, warmth, and lots of wine/reading!
I go to this place called Chocolate that is in Downtown Santa Cruz. Everything there is so decadent! The food is light, salty, savory, and sometimes cheesy, the desserts are sooooo creamy, sweet, and sprinkled with flavored sugar cyrstals. And the hot chocolate.... *mouth water* Its just below "ow that fucking hurts" hot and right above "ovaltine" blahville.
Yet I will remain steadfast. I can already taste the sweetness and there's no use in repeating history. Maybe I should only try every food once. I'm sure there is plenty of recipes in the world to allow me to eat only one meal once for the rest of my life... meaning every meal I have for the rest of my days is a different recipe. No repeated taste exposures.
Mmmm, I am working out the particulars of what will be in my next set. It'll have to rely on a lot of subjectivity which I am trying to clear up so that it can be more communicable. I will work it out on paper...
Example.... I want to drink, take the bus, and go dancing: Will this give me power or enlighten me. I've done this so many times in the past. Its kind of old. I don't think I can get enlightenment from it, especially when I vaguely remember the night anyways. Or Power? I think it would be power because I create the idea that HELL YA! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!
Another: I want to write a poem but I think I should spend the time handling some reading. Enlightenment: When one feels the urge to be creative, I feel that they should follow that because it can sometimes be sporadic. I feel that I personally have an issue with trying to be creative. I can more easily try to be productive and be successful. But creativity is a flow, and when it comes, it must be addressed primarily! Power? It would only be power if I was trying to take charge of the will to be creative. I think it is more of a leading feeling that surmounts. Inductive... yup. I think creativity must be in the periphery to be harnessed. While productivity is accomplished after certain tasks have been completed.
*I need to stop going to Graduate Thesis Presentations* They are making my mind into JELLY.
Anyways... its a good psychological reflexion tool. Am I doing this for the purpose of enlightenment? or for the purpose of power? And I'm sure it doesn't just fit into those two... but they are accessible to define for me.
But its so windy that all I really want to do is soak my feet in hot water and cayenne and drink a Mexican hot chocolate. I may just avoid that first bit and get my butt down to the local Chocalatiere for some yumness, warmth, and lots of wine/reading!
I go to this place called Chocolate that is in Downtown Santa Cruz. Everything there is so decadent! The food is light, salty, savory, and sometimes cheesy, the desserts are sooooo creamy, sweet, and sprinkled with flavored sugar cyrstals. And the hot chocolate.... *mouth water* Its just below "ow that fucking hurts" hot and right above "ovaltine" blahville.
Yet I will remain steadfast. I can already taste the sweetness and there's no use in repeating history. Maybe I should only try every food once. I'm sure there is plenty of recipes in the world to allow me to eat only one meal once for the rest of my life... meaning every meal I have for the rest of my days is a different recipe. No repeated taste exposures.
Mmmm, I am working out the particulars of what will be in my next set. It'll have to rely on a lot of subjectivity which I am trying to clear up so that it can be more communicable. I will work it out on paper...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I'm not really going anywhere with this, I suppose. I just wanted to say "hi," and got carried away.
Hi.