gnomef0cker

I was heading home and realized the traffic was tremendous so I watched a movie to pass a few hours. The movie I subjected myself to was called Mr. Brookes. I knew nothing of this film, not even the actors who were in it. I chose it because it was the only thing that hadn't sold out and was at an appropriate time. It was about a normal guy who happened to kill people for a huge rush. He thought of it as a disease or an addicting "problem" he had. The film, like the actor, took care of all loose ends. I was very upset in that I wanted to kill people after I saw this film. I was angry, aggressive, and a bit crazy. I drove home, very, very fast. Many disturbing visuals came into my head and I finally centered myself again. I wouldn't be surprised if I turn into a schizo some day. I felt this rush of insanity and it was all from a fucking film. That's creepy... What if I was someone else and I wasn't as in control of it? Good job Hollywood.

I've been a sick pup lately. I hope this all goes away before the festival; I dislike having my brain occupied by various sticky substances. I feel it in my eyes, mouth, lungs... I am coughing harshly and loudly with a raspy gurgle taunting me until its finally dislodged. Health, be my friend. I'll fix myself some green tea and honey.

I did a silly thing last night. I wasn't drunk, but I drove after having two drinks at an hour in which cops love to pull people over. I don't know why but I wanted to be in my bed, I didn't want to put myself in a place where I might feel unwanted or jealous of what was around me. Love and companionship is a beautiful thing but it has a harsh reality and can turn to a sour perspective when its in front of me and I feel so far away from it. I think I'm just in a stressful place right now. As soon as this quarter is over I'll be able to relax and love everyone like a used to. Four days left, then a festival, then a new community of friends in the trailer park. I'm ecstatic that I'll have time to read and hike. I have a feeling this summer is going to flash by.

day, day, 4th of july, day, day, taye shoot, day, day, chris visits from germany, day, day, daft punk, day, day, sister's birthday, day, day, burning man, day, day, school begins. Its all there.

I feel like I've already experienced it. What's the point in living it? My new home.