gmd

this blog is full of sadness

i am pretty sure, you are capable of giving and feeling love, but you just have a wall up, so you can't get hurt anymore... i hope, there will come a person in your life, who is able to break that wall and make you happy again.

and i hope, that 2012 will be a great new chapter for you full with surprises and smiles

i know exactly how you feel. like silly said -- you put a wall up to keep yourself from being hurt. i have a similar wall. i have been hurt by every person i have ever let get close to me. i've had my heart ripped to pieces by every person who i ever loved, every person who ever claimed to love me. so, i put up this wall.. i made this promise to myself to not make the same mistakes. unfortunately, it results in me pushing anyone who tries to get close to me as far away as i can. hurt them if i have to to do so, even if it kills me to do it. hurt them before they hurt me, you know?

i have to believe though that someday i will meet someone who i won't be afraid of letting in. somewhere out there, there must be someone who isn't just going to break me apart again. just thinking/typing that scares me, but deep down i know i believe it somehow. i'm still recovering from damage done in the past, it feels like it was just yesterday. sometimes it takes time for the wounds on our hearts to heal... but let's believe that someday they will heal. and someone special will come along and we might get to be happy. (miracles happen, i hear)

you're a great guy. don't let anyone change that. no matter how great you might have thought they were. if they hurt you, they couldn't have been that wonderful, right?