gmd

Yea so work was hell last night. I still felt a little drunk and was morbidly depressed due to not knowing the future of myself and Adrea. To top it all off, when I was starting my usual routine stocking automotive, what I thought was an old lady in distress at first, turned out to be a prank call from some little fucking kid... During the first few minutes I didn't know what the fuck was going on or how to handle it and the only thing that kept me calm was thoughts of Adrea. So I go on break and all I want to do is talk to her, but I get nothing. Not even a text back. Same goes for lunch break. And third break I finally get a response... but my phone dies (what luck I have) so of course... she thinks I'm ignoring her.

At the moment she just wants to be friends. Which, if I didn't actually love her... I'd be okay with. But when it's the one you love... The one you REALLY love... You don't want anything less than love. I think I'd be worse off if I didn't have a great friend in CMC... I love you bro, no homo. And I'm sorry for fucking things up. I just bought her flowers, a teddy bear, and a balloon that says I love you on it. Also left a message of course. I know that money and items can't buy you love, but I just hope that maybe she'll realize that I will do anything, and spend endless amounts of money, all of my money, every paycheck, to show her that I love her, and only her.

We weren't even technically dating, but that doesn't excuse my actions. I told her I loved her. I told her I wanted to be with her. So I should devote my all and all towards her. I was also very drunk, but that is not an excuse either. So from now on I'm not going to drink anymore unless I'm with her... And when I feel comfortable with it again, it'll probably be a rare occasion that I do it. I'm also going to stop flirting...

I just hope she can give me a second chance.