When I married my wife, I told her that I may not make her rich, but I would always make her laugh. Today is her birthday, and I bought her a spa package. We were discussing what that meant and I was able to educate her on many things that will help her spa day be more enjoyable.
First, a Swedish Massage isn't really Swedish unless the person rubbing on you talks in a Swedish accent. Kind of like the Swedish Chef on the Muppet Show (I know, for you younger folks you may have no idea what I am talking about)
Second, a Full Body Scrub isn't really a Full Body Scrub unless they scrub your private areas.
Third, by "private areas" I meant your bung hole.
Fourth, the term "bung hole" makes my wife laugh hysterically and she tells me to stop calling it that. Bung hole, bung hole, bung hole. It makes me chuckle.
Fifth, in no way am I apparently allowed to call the spa ahead of her appointment and ask if they will scrub the bung hole. I almost pissed my pants when for one brief second, I could see in her eyes the fear of me actually doing that.
The laughter of my beautiful wife is only second to my kids as the most beautiful sound on Earth.
I am so glad I could help her understand things better on the momentous occasion of her birthday.
