I hate getting a twinge of jealousy, and not even being able to feel justified with it.....
I have no right to be jealous if he finds himself a girlfriend or more. he's there and i'm here with graham.
and but....I'm still jealous...........
I want to make things work with graham, someone I know and love and have such an intimate friendship/understanding with. and part of me thinks i'd be RETARDED to think that there is even a remote possibility that me and davie will do the whole, meet, fall in love more and live happily ever after. I've never even met him. but for two year, i've been entertaining this thought and hope and curiosity of what if..........
would I be a fool to give up on someone i already have and love and WOULD spend the rest of my life with....on a meer dream or what if?
somtimes I think I should just remove davie out of my life all together...."block and delete", sever all contact....
but what would I be giving up?
goddamnit. nothing is ever easy with afairs of the heart.....
and its not like i'm going behind graham's back about this, he KNOWS I love davie, he has even talked to him, they know about each other..
god it would be so much easier if graham or davie was a totall asshole......why must they both be so fucking nice and awesome?!?!?!??!
I have no right to be jealous if he finds himself a girlfriend or more. he's there and i'm here with graham.
and but....I'm still jealous...........
I want to make things work with graham, someone I know and love and have such an intimate friendship/understanding with. and part of me thinks i'd be RETARDED to think that there is even a remote possibility that me and davie will do the whole, meet, fall in love more and live happily ever after. I've never even met him. but for two year, i've been entertaining this thought and hope and curiosity of what if..........
would I be a fool to give up on someone i already have and love and WOULD spend the rest of my life with....on a meer dream or what if?
somtimes I think I should just remove davie out of my life all together...."block and delete", sever all contact....
but what would I be giving up?
goddamnit. nothing is ever easy with afairs of the heart.....
and its not like i'm going behind graham's back about this, he KNOWS I love davie, he has even talked to him, they know about each other..
god it would be so much easier if graham or davie was a totall asshole......why must they both be so fucking nice and awesome?!?!?!??!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
For example. I had a girlfriend, I was with her fo years, then I met another girl. I liked her, I liked her A LOT. I barely knew her, but I broke up with my girlfriend because if I was having these feelings, then it wasn't fair on her, or on me. I never got the other girl, she wasn't interested in me. Whatever. I don't regret doing this, because I now am single and can wait until I meet someone else who makes me feel that good again. My original girlfriend had obviously stopped doing that.
To me, there is not even a question in the matter.
However, I think I'm the only one who can do this so easily. I'm just wired differently.
As for meeting this character, if it's something you want to do, do it. Otherwise you're going to question it forever. If he's not what you expect, then that makes your decision a whole hell of a lot easier, doesn't it?
...just rambling here...
Have a great day!