glassdragon

Ok I think i"m getting sick again..which totally IS NOT fair...like...damnit..I'm ALWAYS sick. i hate my body because it hates me....lameass body...

sometimes I Feel like I'm really a man trapped in a womans body...its weird....I have very...manly thoughts....if that makes sense.

today my brain decided to scare me by randomly popping very depressing/suicidal thoughts into it.....I was happy all day but then...BAM...hello sadness.
I dont understand...
I really dont.

I want to draw..but the markers will do horrible things to my stuffed up head...blast you sharpies BLAST YOU!

I understand that i'm totally all over the walls in this post but thats honestly how I feel these days. scatterbrained.
my days go by without me even noticing...its like i'm living in a lucid dream and just floating around watching life go by while I just...float around...like a pile of fluff...only alot heavier than fluff...OBVIOUSLY..gosh...look at me..i'm not that light hahhahahhaahaha
oh man.

my goal to lose these 20 lbs by my birthday seems impossible...I've been eating better but my body is all like HEY THATS MY FAT YOU AINT TAKIN IT AWAY!
figures eh .....
I need to excercise more. but feeling so sick all the time doesn't really make you wanna go out and run or swim or stuff and things...

I finally saw Tomas with my glasses on and my god my eyes didn't lie to me one bit....purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr throbbing clitoris syndrom WHAT?!?!?! hahhaha
Mr. Joshua has not been in at lunch much this week for me to oogle over...which makes me so sad. he's so cute and...LITTLE!
like seriously he's SO SHORT! omg i fucking love it! so polite and cute! I just wanna pick him up and throw him! hahahhahaha

yep..ok..whatever i'm a loser....and this is the excitment of my day to day life.....