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glamerdork

born in Jersey, college in Chicago.

Member Since 2002

Followers 284 Following 90

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Wednesday Apr 30, 2003

Apr 30, 2003
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Did my last entry really make it sound like I disliked theatre? I love theatre, I really do. I think that it can offer so much that other artforms cannot touch. But I'm just saying that there are other artforms that also have the ability to push the limits in a different way, and I feel as an artist, I can only better my own understanding for whatever field I end up in by exploring as many artistic areas as possible.

Do I want to do theatre (or something theatre related) for the rest of my life? Yes.

Do I care if I have no time to be social? No.

One benefit of being in theatre is that for someone like me, it makes a social life possible. That's not the reason I want to be a theatre artist, but it certainly is a benefit. I love people. I love working with people. And I've got way too much social anxiety to be able to collaborate with anyone otherwise.

... eh. I don't know. There is a lot I'm unsure of about my future. I'm 19 years old... I know that while I love theatre, my passion lies within the concept of storytelling. I feel as if this passion can cross artistic boundries and allow me to be in theatre and be a visual artist and be a writer, etc, etc.

i dream a lot. I dream a lot and do very little.

... I was amazed at how, the other day, during the Q+A w/ the filmmakers, when I asked my question the first words that came out of my mouth were "I am not an actor." ... Why is it that I feel I need to explain this to everyone? It's like, I can sometimes call myself a writer or an artist or a singer, but actor? No.

Meanwhile, I've taken more acting classes (prior to college) than writing classes. I've performed in more shows than been displayed in galleries. I dropped my costume tech class to take a theatre ensemble class why? Oh, because... I guess I love to act. Oh-- I don't guess it at all. If there is one thing about theatre I'm entirely in love with it is acting. I'm just not very good at it.

Yet I still read through the audition ads in the performink and circle the one's I'd try for if I only had the talent. I'm staying for yet another summer to perform in the about face youth show... because... I need some time set aside in the year where I can just... attempt to act.

It's just that I'm honest with myself when it comes to my skills and I know that if I want to be involved in theatre, trying to be an actor isn't the way to go. I'm fascinated with the concept of directing because I've always been better at editting others work than my own. Well, I have ideas and I am good at putting them out there, but I believe that if others interperet my ideas, then I can see them as others ideas and therefore edit them in this giant volleyball game type manner until there is some kind of interesting and well structured final piece (unlike this sentence.)

I love... collaboration. Storytelling. Making people think. Creating something new. Pointing out the obvious that people choose to ignore. Poking fun at life. Comparing x to y to z to a and b and c...

I don't know... i don't know anything. All I know is I want to keep creating... I can't stop myself...I just can't stop.
blueeyedangel:
yeah if everyone did what they wanted for a job we'd have reallyu crappy world. And part of me, the fiscal conservative want to be rindependently wealthy side, knows even if I hate my job then I should see it as a way to achieve my goals and pursuits out side of work and maximizing my earning potential should be the biggest concern.

The other part of me, the liberal minnesotan work ethic pro union side, feels, that No matter what type of work I I do I should see it as a blessing, and therefore I should do it with joy because work in itself , No matter how lowly , has dignity.

If I cant cultivate that kind of attitude then maybe I should as the ppassage suggested just start begging on the streets, I think I would soon tire of street living and begging and then maybe I would appreciate my lousy job.sorta depends upon what day you ask me.
Apr 30, 2003
freckle:
theatre can really get to you... expecially if you love it.
Apr 30, 2003

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