Tonight I decided I'm going to grad school for film. Possibly at columbia college because they have a good program, it's not too expensive, and I bet I can get in w/ my previous experience in theatre (instead of in film.) I guess I'll apply elsewhere, but really I want to go somewhere in a good location, with good facilities, that isn't too much $. I do love chicago, so why should I try to run away from it just yet? Eh... I could even go directly into grad school if i'm going to do this. Of course, I need to get my undergrad degree first. That's 2 more years and 5 more weeks. ... 65 more weeks of classes. 65 more weeks...
365 more days exactly. A year... a year of school left.
... 365 more days...
I still wish I could fit a film course or two into my undergraduate training, in case I do want to apply to some big name expensive film school and need some kind of specific film portfolio to get in. Hmm. Film... an area that requires even more money than theatre and art...
well, I always did pick out the most expensive dress on the rack. I had a talent for picking out the one that somehow cost about 100 dollars more than the others.
... film... I am a filmmaker. Look at me. Look at what i want....
I want to explore human relationships. I like reality as art. I dislike fantasy. I enjoy metaphor. I love humor. I love story. ... film makes possible what theatre, in all of it's magic and power, can not.
And, as a film director, I'd have more control... which is what the difference between theatre directors and film directors ultimately boils down to.
I need to do my homework. I need to graduate, so I can get myself to film school. And then what? Oh, I don't know. I can already tell you that hollywood is not for me. Film is such a hard area to go into because as the director+ actor from the movie Charolette Sometimes (who came to lecture at my school today) said, film is a business. Well.. theatre is too... but film moreso, because it costs more to make and therefore needs to be marketable to be able to make the money back and hopefully have profits. To take a risk in film is somewhat riskier than risktaking in theatre. Not too many people are willing to support you in making a film that doesn't go along the lines of what has precedeed it as successes. Therefore, to be creative in the film industry means finding means for your own funding, having a lot of guts, trusting yourself and hoping for the best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.
Oh look at me, going on and on like I know all about film. All I know is the infamous jack... jack shit, that is. I don't know anything. But I'd like to... one day. Eh, I think I'll get there.
I'm always searching for how art can be pushed futher. I shy away from visual art because when someone has painted a canvas white and sold it for thousands of dollars, you know there is nothing more left to explore. Of course, you can borrow others ideas, compile them in infinite combinations... but this becomes about stealing from others process. Art is wonderful, but I do not feel like it is an area where I have the ability to express myself. Theatre, on the otherhand, is a place that I am passionate about and feel like there are still a few areas to explore. Theatre will always be new because there are 2000x=y stories to tell, where x equals the sum of the days that all the human beings on this earth have lived. Still, theatre is limited. It relies on the audiences imagination, and therefore if a particular audience member is lacking in this area, the director can try all they want to get across what they are trying to convey and the idea is just going to be missed. The audience member will notice a glimmer of light coming from offstage and become transfixed, completely ignoring the storyline alltogether.
Film, it seems, is the only media where the director has complete control of what is being told. Even if the director chooses an angle that is more realistic, such as the director from Charolette Sometimes spoke of today in the lecture, he still makes that choice and by controlling what other information is allowed in that shot, he is able to take out any unneeded distractions.
Hollywood, seemingly sucks. I don't think I'd ever be a hollywood director. I want to be one of those low budget indie filmmakers who is allowed to explore this relatively new artistic media. I'm so attracted to film because while theatre and art have been around for ages, the cinematic arts have just appeared in the last century. If something is less than 100 years old, there certainly has not been enough time to explore every last facet of it's expressionistic ability.
Hollywood seems to be holding this artform at somewhat of a standstill. There are many independent filmmakers trying to create something new, but when it comes down to it, industry is stronger than art.
Call me crazy, but I want to change this. I want to make films that are intellectual, diverse and honest, yet still marketable to the general public. So you say this is impossible, do you? Well, part of me thinks that this is yet another one of my somewhat insane creative longings that will never be fullfilled.
But I know I can get into film school... film school will teach me all of the techinical how to's...
I've got a lot to say. I'm not going to die until I get a chance to say it to a whole lot of people. So either I'm never going to die, or this... this is going to work.
365 more days exactly. A year... a year of school left.
... 365 more days...
I still wish I could fit a film course or two into my undergraduate training, in case I do want to apply to some big name expensive film school and need some kind of specific film portfolio to get in. Hmm. Film... an area that requires even more money than theatre and art...
well, I always did pick out the most expensive dress on the rack. I had a talent for picking out the one that somehow cost about 100 dollars more than the others.
... film... I am a filmmaker. Look at me. Look at what i want....
I want to explore human relationships. I like reality as art. I dislike fantasy. I enjoy metaphor. I love humor. I love story. ... film makes possible what theatre, in all of it's magic and power, can not.
And, as a film director, I'd have more control... which is what the difference between theatre directors and film directors ultimately boils down to.
I need to do my homework. I need to graduate, so I can get myself to film school. And then what? Oh, I don't know. I can already tell you that hollywood is not for me. Film is such a hard area to go into because as the director+ actor from the movie Charolette Sometimes (who came to lecture at my school today) said, film is a business. Well.. theatre is too... but film moreso, because it costs more to make and therefore needs to be marketable to be able to make the money back and hopefully have profits. To take a risk in film is somewhat riskier than risktaking in theatre. Not too many people are willing to support you in making a film that doesn't go along the lines of what has precedeed it as successes. Therefore, to be creative in the film industry means finding means for your own funding, having a lot of guts, trusting yourself and hoping for the best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.
Oh look at me, going on and on like I know all about film. All I know is the infamous jack... jack shit, that is. I don't know anything. But I'd like to... one day. Eh, I think I'll get there.
I'm always searching for how art can be pushed futher. I shy away from visual art because when someone has painted a canvas white and sold it for thousands of dollars, you know there is nothing more left to explore. Of course, you can borrow others ideas, compile them in infinite combinations... but this becomes about stealing from others process. Art is wonderful, but I do not feel like it is an area where I have the ability to express myself. Theatre, on the otherhand, is a place that I am passionate about and feel like there are still a few areas to explore. Theatre will always be new because there are 2000x=y stories to tell, where x equals the sum of the days that all the human beings on this earth have lived. Still, theatre is limited. It relies on the audiences imagination, and therefore if a particular audience member is lacking in this area, the director can try all they want to get across what they are trying to convey and the idea is just going to be missed. The audience member will notice a glimmer of light coming from offstage and become transfixed, completely ignoring the storyline alltogether.
Film, it seems, is the only media where the director has complete control of what is being told. Even if the director chooses an angle that is more realistic, such as the director from Charolette Sometimes spoke of today in the lecture, he still makes that choice and by controlling what other information is allowed in that shot, he is able to take out any unneeded distractions.
Hollywood, seemingly sucks. I don't think I'd ever be a hollywood director. I want to be one of those low budget indie filmmakers who is allowed to explore this relatively new artistic media. I'm so attracted to film because while theatre and art have been around for ages, the cinematic arts have just appeared in the last century. If something is less than 100 years old, there certainly has not been enough time to explore every last facet of it's expressionistic ability.
Hollywood seems to be holding this artform at somewhat of a standstill. There are many independent filmmakers trying to create something new, but when it comes down to it, industry is stronger than art.
Call me crazy, but I want to change this. I want to make films that are intellectual, diverse and honest, yet still marketable to the general public. So you say this is impossible, do you? Well, part of me thinks that this is yet another one of my somewhat insane creative longings that will never be fullfilled.
But I know I can get into film school... film school will teach me all of the techinical how to's...
I've got a lot to say. I'm not going to die until I get a chance to say it to a whole lot of people. So either I'm never going to die, or this... this is going to work.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I am working on four shows right now and opening a new theatre downtown, and making a decent living doing it (by artist standards). But then again, I work 60-80 hours a week or more an have little time for family or friends. If you don't have the passion to pull you through the rough spots (and there are many), do something else.
Don't love the idea of working in theatre, love working in theatre.
[Edited on Apr 30, 2003]