glamerdork

You know what really gets me, though? It's like I can almost see her and I really working together if there was ever a time when we could actually get to know each other. Yea, yea, yea- so chances are she has a bf or gf now. And gosh-golly-gee, so do I... but-- in those few moments when I actually talk to her... there is something, I dunno... something special in that eye contact. It's intense. I just want to... no. I just want her to... well, I'll let your imagination write that chapter o' erotica.


Why do I feel like people either hate me or are in love with me? I know that i'm a person of extremes, but that's utterly ridiculous. Well, I don't think everyone hates me OR loves me, but generally people I don't know very well fit into one of those two catagories. My "friends" just like me. They're the only people I can really believe that of. And I don't have all too many friends. Hmm.


Everyone else hates me.


But her and I... we could work. In Hazeland, where optomism is met with continued satisfaction and things always seem to just work out, there wouldn't be any of this tension... there wouldn't be any me falling asleep to imagining unexpectedly running my fingertips gently down the side of her arm while we're alone somewhere for a moment-- and it wouldn't be creepy because, well, it's hazeland. It would be sensual, soft, sweet- and then I'd kiss her... passionately... like-- like in the movies, only better because it would be real and -- that's all it would have to be.. if only I could stare into her eyes and know that it was okay that there was something there and then there would be days ahead of painting the town red- all I want is to be able to hear her laughter for hours on end, to live with her in our own world... not caring what anyone else thinks, just doing what we do and falling in love with life more and more. There would be romantic candlelit dinners, walks by the lake, and all that cheesy stuff that uncreative people put in their personal ads attempting to look interesting. But-- there would also be water balloon fights, impromptu erotica readings and dancing in sudden downpours, our lips together in a swirl of a strong wave crashing in on shore as the liquid drops fell heavy from the sky and every milimeter of our skin was awake with desire. There would be unthought of ideas coming from nowhere that would be acted on just because... and there would be something honest there. Something real. A deep respect and trust for each other that needn't be explained. It would just be there...a connection, a comfort, a cozy calm... we'd redefine the concept of a relationship together. We'd redefine the world's idea of love... even if it was only published in the dictionary of our own hearts, beating together as one.